Freckles™

If I Don't Have to Care About Money

2010-03-29T15:27:00.007+08:00

My current wish list, if only I have enough money in the world.

1. A Master's Degree

I never thought of pursuing a postgraduate degree before. Then, out of the blue, a distant relative told me that Australia is a great place for a career in accounting. The thing is, permanent residency request requires study duration of minimun two years in Australia. Blurred, Pops told me to visit IDP to retrieve more insights on the available courses and so I did. When the counsellor talked about a course in Enterprise Resource Management, I really couldn't think what's better for me than this.

Apparently, a friend of mine was a few steps ahead of me and is currently doing a diploma in a nearby university. After some chat sessions, I really felt that I am supposed to be there. Or at least I really want to be there. The only problem is, Pops said that his budget is only half of the course fee. As for allowance, they might finance me for the first semester but I'll have to be on my own for the rest of the course duration. It's a very huge responsibility to carry but I am confident. I believe I will be well taken care of :)

2. Nikon D5000
In my previous post I told you that I want a camera. However, my preferences shifted as I crave a DSLR instead of a simple point-and-shoot camera. Very long explanation is waiting, mostly is saying that if I got myself a DSLR then I will have to push myself to learn more things as to make the best use of it. To top it off, sensor sizes don't lie.

3. The New Dell Inspiron 14
My sister just got herself a new laptop, thanks to her hardcore (and very rewarding) effort in her study. I envied her but that's all. I was satisfied with my laptop anyway. It was very peaceful until... it gave me a blue screen of death when I was doing my translation. One. Then whenever I plug in my battery, it simply hung on me. Two. And I really don't want to know why, sometimes it simply hangs for no reason. Okay, maybe I'm pushing it to carry a lot of weight but this has never happened before. Maybe it's just time to recycle.

4. iPhone 3Gs
No reason. I just feel like owning this gadget. With everybody worshipping Apple and all. I might get one. I might. Just might.

5. A New Bag
It does not necessarily have to be a coach. However, I've been using the same handbag for my whole internship and I feel like getting a new one.

More to come? You bet!

Sanguinist

2010-03-15T14:13:00.005+08:00

Taken from Unee's blog.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

Baby Mine, Baby Mine

2010-03-03T13:37:00.017+08:00

I've always wanted to own a digital camera. Analog can wait. We've witnessed the proofs that this old school technology never grow old while digital ages by the seconds. You got my reason. So, when I got this internship, I made up my mind that it is time to start a new saving account for my first camera. I repeat. My. First. Camera. Oh God, I got so excited even from just typing it. FYI, this is the first time I announce this publicly: I really really really want a camera.

Anyhow, I got even more excited when I checked my bank account before lunch: my first salary was in. Woo-hoo! With a bonus of 12% of the promised amount. Double, triple woo-hoo! Definitely, both my first and second (of my two months internship xD) salary will 100% be channeled to the camera account. No further discussion.

Now, when I first did my research, this coming-soon Cybershot DSC HX5 caught my eye.

A very sleek, elegant and futuristic typical of cybershot equipped with the newest technology including GPS, CMOS sensor, special feature for low-light environments and beautiful stitch assistant for panoramic shoots. It lacks manual controls though, as I expected from Sony camera. Still, the sample images are jaw-dropping.

Moving along. I was comparing DSC-HX5 with the good ol' Canon Powershot SX200 IS but it was no match to Sony's all new technologies. When I was really convinced about Sony, I read a press release saying that Canon is announcing new models for March 2010. One of them is Powershot SX210 IS. God, help me.

Seeing how this baby shines with its smooth and silky finishing and toy-like shape made me want to hold it tight and never let go. It has super long optical zoom of 14x, 14mp, full manual control and HD movie recording. Not a real hot stuff though, compared to Sony, but the long zoom surely kills. Plus, I don't think I'd actually use GPS as featured by HX5. Nevertheless, when I looked at the sample images, I bought all the promises and turned my back on HX5.

I had never ever considered, even slightly, Panasonic. My parents bought one (I think it was ZS2) and the picture quality was terrible. It was seriously rubbish. I thought it was because they wrongly bought a failed product but when I tried my friend's expensive Lumix... I simply lost faith in this brand. However, I browsed the internet today and found some discussions on SX210 IS rivals and Lumix TZ10/ZS7 came up.

I wasn't paying too much attention until I took a glance at the sample images. It was beyond beautiful. I had my doubts in Canon which I didn't have in Sony as Canon tends to smoothen captured images to reduce noises while Sony took the challenge in attempts to produce sharper outputs. In this case, Sony couldn't help it but let its own IQ to do the trick and emphasises on its auto mode, leaving us human with limited options to make the most of our creativity. Sony does them all. But then, since I'm buying a point and shoot camera as a way of dipping my feet in the world of photography before I gain my confidence to actually explore every corner of it, I guess manual controls were very considerable. So I chose Canon over Sony. But then this stupid Lumix destroyed my plans. It has both the picture sharpness, manual control, reasonable MP and optical zoom as well as high-res LCD. Its price was higher than the previous two but I guess it would be so worth it.

Anyhow, you're all very welcomed to comment and advise me on this matter. Please note that recommendations on not buying cameras and spend my salaries to treat you might just be a waste of energy. :p
Back to work, have a good day, people :)

I should've, I could've, I would've

2010-02-22T10:44:00.002+08:00

These days I've been watching Bones, a crime solving TV Series, and as usual I find myself got emotionally attached to the characters. However, after the third season, they stopped the appearance of my favourite Zack Addy. You know me very well, you'll understand my fondness towards cute, bullyable nerds. :) I was seriously thinking of quitting Bones. However, in exchange, they add a psychologist to the team.

I was supposed to do psychology for my undergraduate study. You ask me why would I take psychology, I had no idea. It just popped into my mind. No reason. At all. Anyway, this is why my dad challenged my decision and directed me to accounting and finance instead. I agreed with him. I saw no reason to why I should be persistent on something that even I cannot explain. Worse, I got accepted into THE (mind the capital THE here) famous psychology faculty when I already committed myself to accounting and finance. Still, no reason to persist, I stayed.

Observing the psychologist's works in Bones, I realised that I would really love to study the theories of psychology. They are soundly logical and rational though subjective and seemed like mere guesses. I might have succeeded if I were to take psychology! Then again, I also thought of doing communications. Now that I'm actually in the field, I do not find it as interesting as it sounded before. And also IT. I was also thinking about taking IT (yet the dream vanished when I figured that my IQ would not give enough support to grant me success in this area).

What should've I fought for? What could've I done? What would've I achieved? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Luck

2010-01-14T00:40:00.004+08:00

Sebelumnya izinkan saya mengucapkan selamat tahun baru kepada Anda sekalian. Saya rasa sih yg baca blog saya secara rutin sebenernya gak ada tapi yah kalo sekiranya ada ya, selamat tahun baru 2010 untuk anda. Best wishes :)

Oke. Liburan kemarin saya terlibat dalam percakapan yang cukup menarik di forum keluarga. Saya merasa, atau setidaknya berusaha untuk selalu bersikap rasional. Everything happens for a reason. Sebisa mungkin saya akan mengeliminasi pengaruh dari elemen-elemen supranatural dalam upaya saya mencerna atau melakukan segala sesuatu.

Hal ini saya terapkan mentah-mentah di kehidupan saya. Saya beranggapan bahwa segala sesuatu yang terjadi itu bisa dijelaskan secara logis. Namun orang tua saya tidak demikian. Saya merasa perlu menjelaskan bahwa orang tua saya cenderung bersikap religius supaya Anda tidak menyelewengkan maksud dari kuasa supranatural kepada aktivitas perdukunan. Bukan yang seperti itu.

Dengan berani ayah saya memberi data statistik imajinatif bahwa manusia hanya bisa berusaha sebaik-baiknya tetapi chance bahwa usahanya akan berhasil tidak akan melebihi 50%. Sisanya ya, tergantung keberuntungan orang tersebut. Jujur saja, saya sangat tidak menyukai konsep keberuntungan.

Sebut saja M. M ini adalah seorang siswa yang prestasi akademisnya biasa-biasa saja. Mediocre, average. Menjelang lulus SMP, M mencoba ikut ujian saringan masuk sebuah SMA ternama di kotanya. Dengan bahan referensi passing grade ujian saringan masuk tahun-tahun terdahulu, M tidak akan diterima karena hasil ujiannya tidak memenuhi syarat. Namun apa yang terjadi? Konon dengan alasan kuota yang tak tercapai, standar hasil ujian yang menjadi syarat penerimaan diturunkan dan M pun diterima! Faktor X di sini sangat-sangat unpredictable tapi dampaknya signifikan. Saya yang sangat mencintai keamanan dan kestabilan merasa terancam akan keberadaan faktor ini. Faktanya, ini benar-benar terjadi.

Memahami dan menerima konsep keberuntungan saja bagi saya sudah sulit. Rupa-rupanya ini masih belum cukup untuk mengguncang kesadaran saya. Ayah saya tiba-tiba curhat bahwa meskipun kita harus mempercayai keberuntungan, garis tangan keluarga kami adalah garis tangan orang yang berusaha. Gambarannya, beberapa orang mungkin memiliki bakat beruntung yang tinggi sehingga meski mereka hanya berusaha sebesar 10-15% pun gauge keberuntungan mereka yang relatif lebih tinggi kapasitasnya akan lebih menjamin keberhasilan mereka. Sedangkan untuk saya, gauge keberuntungan saya mungkin hanya sedikit lebih banyak dari 50% sehingga perjuangan saya harus 10-15% lebih besar dari orang-orang lain pada umumnya untuk mencapai probabiliatas keberhasilan yang sama. Rasanya saya mau pingsan.

"While some people might get the right stuff to get what they want, the others would get the other right stuff to get what they want in a way they would never have imagined."

As cliche as I can be, let's see where this path would lead me to.

The Bigger Picture

2009-11-01T22:51:00.007+08:00

Dunia semakin panas. Nilai semakin dingin. Kontradiksi yang gak penting tapi pernyataan yang pertama itu serius. Ini tidak berkaitan dengan isu global warming atau kekacauan ekosistem yang makin hari makin marak. Saya mau berbicara mengenai manusia.

Bagi saya, ciptaan Tuhan yang paling mengerikan adalah manusia. Tapi bagaimanapun juga, ngeri itu relatif, bukan? Secara pribadi, saya berpendapat demikian. Saya tidak pandai mengutip filosofi tapi membicarakan ini saya teringat pada perkataan klasik, "With great power comes great responsibilities." Manusia diberikan akal budi oleh pencipta. Sesuatu yang secara khusus dianugerahkan, tidak kepada apapun selain manusia. Mungkin memang Adam tidak sepatutnya memakan buah pengetahuan itu.

Manusia memiliki sifat adaptatif. Mereka seperti memiliki rasa haus yang tak kunjung terpuaskan. Selalu ingin lebih: dari orang lain terutama. Kain dan Habel atau Cain and Able kalau mau berlaga internasional. Sebuah cerita yang populer tentang kebohongan pertama manusia, juga aksi kriminal pertama yang dilakukan untuk mengatasi orang lain. Mengeliminasi sesama dan berdusta adalah kejahatan yang sudah dikenal sejak zaman manusia pertama yang tercatat dalam sejarah.

Lalu manusia pun mengembangkan zaman. Kompleksitas merayapi setiap aspek kehidupan. Semuanya dibuat begitu rumit. Dikatakanlah ini adalah untuk kebaikan kita semua. Maka lahirlah agama, politik, ekonomi, dan ide-ide brilian lainnya. Mereka yang tidak setuju boleh menciptakan ilmu-ilmu lain yang bertentangan dengan yang lainnya. Bagaimanapun juga, semua ciptaan itu adalah untuk memuaskan hati manusia akan hal-hal yang tak terjawab.

Mereka yang mampu, menciptakan sistem. Mereka yang malas, menuruti sistem. Mereka yang independen, menentang sistem. Mereka yang menutup mata, tidak melihat sistem. Saya secara pribadi merasa ketakutan.

Saya takut terhadap napsu manusia yang semakin tak terkendali. Tuhan tidak lagi menegur Kain, bertanya, "Di manakah adikmu?" Kain sudah semakin cerdas. Otaknya dipenuhi dengan konspirasi dan taktik untuk memenggal kepala para bidak dan men-skak mat lawannya. Pahit mengingat ini, membuat saya malas untuk berharap. Tidak perlu melihat gambar besar. Hiduplah sebagaimana adanya, sebagai pelajar, sebagai anak, sebagai orang tua, sebagai pegawai. Tidak perlu ikut campur dalam sistem, apapun itu. Karena inilah saya tidak keberatan lagi bila TheMarksMan berkoar ingin jadi presiden.

Terkadang saya merasa prihatin melihat mereka yang naif. Berpikir bahwa dengan berjuang, semuanya bisa dilakukan. Saya merasa benar karena hanya berjuang dalam sistem. Mengikuti kaidah-kaidah yang sudah ditetapkan orang, enggan untuk mencari jalan lain. Saya yang tidak suka akan perasaan tidak aman, si pengecut.

Sampai saya menemukan pernyataan ini di halaman facebook seorang relasi (nama tidak disamarkan),

Aju Ade: Ketika politik menyumbat ruang publik dengan kebohongan, adakah kesempatan untuk nurani berbicara? Sepenuh keyakinan kukatakan "ya". Dan bersama kita bisa.

Dan saya menjumpai setitik harapan. Bersama kita bisa. :)

Baby Hueys

2009-10-08T22:45:00.005+08:00

I'd admit that this might not the best picture we had together. There are tons of pictures of me and these two little girls with tons of expressions you would not normally thought of. But if I have to compare this picture with all those extraordinaries, you would agree with me and pick this one among all.

It's a picture of me and my sisters. People who had seen me with them would say that there are three Mandas in our family. That is how they describe our physical similarity. Non-physicals?

To be honest, I was not aware of these unseen characters we shared together. When we were children, I would chase them around crying and get spanked in the end by my mother or other corporal punishments for "torturing" these actually-not-so-innocent creatures. I remember that I coloured the house with desperate shouts and cries of my sisters nearly every day. Even after they got into teenagers, I could still find their point of weakness and torture them to cry for it. I still see them as the little babies who'd never grow up.

Sometimes I envy my friends who could get along very fine with their siblings. So fine that they do not mind to sincerely express their love towards each other and actually miss them when one is leaving the others. Me and my sisters are very proud individuals. We would never say that we love or miss one another out loud as much as we might want to.

However, it was very clear during this year, I found myself getting more and even more attached to them. Kezia is now in her first year of senior high school and Muti is in her second grade of junior high. Neither of them is exactly a baby. I can feel it from the changes in the way we communicate, their taste in music, how much they got involved in recent trends and their shifting priorities and point of views. I can barely remember now why would I tortured them in the past while we can get along so easily at this moment.

We share the same interest: comic books, internet, computer games, jokes, and some of the music influences, mostly my childish demands. Even when our interests contradict, we would work our ways and eventually come to an agreement at some point. This is when I realize that my babies had grown. I used to ask Muti if she feels uncomfortable being "spoiled" and treated as a brat. She does not mind. It gave me even more reason to not see them as growing teenagers.

However, I checked their facebook for quite some time and... well, to put it short, it inspired me to see them as they are now. To see them in the way the world see them. They are no longer those brats who cry when I took their dolls or stupid kid with whom I had to argue to get to read our kids magazine first. They already got their ability to reason and sometimes it simply fascinates me to see how fast they have developed their mind. Maybe I have gotten too soft myself but I'd rather let this feeling to last :)

Best of Both Worlds

2009-09-30T05:59:00.003+08:00

Where do I start? This hiatus left me a bunch to say but I do not want to make this post a journal article so here goes nothing.

When I wake up at hours like this, I usually sleep it off until my regular wake-up time, which is around 4-5 hours later. However, today, I cannot seem to put my mind at ease and rest as the usual days.

I have been thinking. Seriously. I know I do not think at most of the time but at this very dawn of my departure to Nilai, I have been thinking a lot.

One is about the recent happenings regarding the situations with Malaysia. I am really fed up and disappointed of the sudden nationalism and extreme hatred demonstrated by a lot of Indonesians as a response to this. It is an exaggerated human nature. I am no God so I do not know what is going on beneath the surface. In fact, we are all no God so what is with the jumping into conclusions?

During my high school lessons, I was forced to read a newspaper article about an expert's opinion regarding our nation. He, as an Indonesian, with a disappointment labeled our country as a theatre stage where the governments put on shows to "entertain" and keep their nation busy as they practice their "own business", which obviously they want nobody to notice and that is why the theatre is on at the first place. Let us see one example.

Do you not think that Indonesia had copied a bit of American terrorist scenario? Basically it involves a huge bombing and a terrorist whose existence we would never know. Do you not think that M. Top is a lot like bin Laden? And you would like to pay attention to how the terrorist was captured and killed or Malaysians claiming our rendang or whatsoever rather than why the Bank of Century is receiving that insanely large sum of "help" from the Government? This is what I mean by a nation-wide distraction, well played by the pawns to drive our people's mind to where "they" would want it.

Whatevs. Let's face it. We are blindly eating up all those craps served by the media. And as a human being, people see what they want to see. It is inevitable. So please, think clear, people. We have been living off manipulated history (i.e. the Indonesian Communism Party) and what is so difficult to manipulate the media? Once again, be selective and critical.

Solving the conflict would be easier if both Indonesian and Malaysian party is willing to sit face to face and reconcile the misled paths so that no confusions would spring out in the future. It is better to spare a day or two for a Culture Talk or whatsoever than to have lifelong conflicts involving sweepings and deportations :D *self-defense*

Whew. Kok jadi panjang? Gue kan maunya curhat bukan tentang ini. Euh... Pendek aja deh...

True, I watched Hannah Montana The Movie. She got the best of both worlds after she chose to prioritise what should matter the most in her life. Eventually, she got the best of both world! I'm envious. Super envy.

I wonder if that would happen to me.

I am always trapped in my worlds, my college life world when I am in Nilai and my family and friend life world when I am in Bogor. I wonder how to strike a balance and get the best of both. The trade off will be the hard work required. But it does not seem like that in the movieee... :p I want to live easily and simply get my dream life!

My study will be finished soon (fingers crossed for last sem's results, believe me, this matter gave me nights of nightmares even during the holiday >_<) and my parents already put me on the position to for the unemployment race. In short, I need to get a job. This is difficult. I know I would definitely cope with everything, God is with me. But still, as an individual human being, I feel so weak and I don't know, helpless?

Nevertheless, I totally feel like not going back to Nilai after this holiday. I don't think I'm ready to cope with the fast-paced life and hard work, especially now that I know I need to get a job so I better make it at best. I'd miss my a-bit-slower-paced holiday when I could play with my younger sisters and food and drink comes for free. Where I know I am loved and under protection. This is my comfort zone and I do not want to leave it. Right now.

Birds fly, guys having sex with guys, Malaysia claimed our national treasures and life goes on. I guess I just need to get to the present starting from today.

Welcoming back myself to the neighbouring country. Hello, Nilai...

Update! finally

2009-08-12T23:43:00.002+08:00

Sudah sangat lama sekali saya tidak meng-update blog ini. Tidak ada yang menunggu juga kan? Jadi saya tidak mengecewakan siapa siapa. :)

Oh well, people say that with the subjects I'm taking this semester, it's going to be hell and what do I know? I still took them all and, boy, am I in hell or what?

Anyway, I finally took some free time to sit down and relax *digeplak, "FAT ama MOE kerjain woy!!"* and I decided to make use of it at most. :)

Kemarin saya ada niat untuk menulis tapi menguap begitu saja dalam lima menit, sebelum saya sampai di rumah dan merealisasikan inspirasi tersebut. Takpelah. Seingat saya sih tidak begitu penting juga bahan tulisannya.

Hmm... saya menonton film SETEM, dua kali hanya dalam selang waktu dua hari. *bukannya tadi katanya gak ada waktu yah? kok nonton film? ahsudahlah jangan banyak cingcong, saya mau cerita*

Komentar? Lucu abis. Nonton dua kali dalam selang waktu sesingkat itu, saya masih bisa ketawa ngakak sampe ilang napas. Ya, saya yakin kok saya tidak terjangkit flu babi. Filmnya tentang upaya pencurian sebuah prangko (ya, setem was as in stamp). Ada beberapa pihak yang tertarik dengan artikel berharga ini dan konflik di antara merekalah yang menjadi inti cerita dan banyolannya.

Ada geng piranha yang isinya kelompok mafia Cina, geng tossai yang isinya mantan narapidana India dan rekannya yang sumpah-tololnya-parah-bikin-ngakak, geng anak yatim yang butuh uang untuk mencegah ditutupnya sebuah panti asuhan, geng yang teraniaya serta geng bakso.

Mungkin faktor bahasa yang bikin saya dan teman2 saya ngakak ga keru-keruan di studio sana. Coba aja bandingin baca Crayon ~~Manohara Shinosuke~~ Shinchan dan Dik Cerdas. Dik Cerdas bakal beberapa kali lebih lucu daripada Shinchan (meski saya rasa sih sebaiknya baca Shinchan dulu biar ngerti maksud dan jalan cerita yang sesungguhnya).

Semoga bakal ada bajakannya supaya bisa saya pamerkan kepada teman-teman di Indonesia. *tetep piracy*

Two way monologue

2009-06-25T10:49:00.002+08:00

"Doohh, ini website game kok lama banget yak ngeloadnya..."
"Ya ini kan emang bukan waktunya lo untuk maen internet, nda... Journal tuh digarapp..."
"Iya iya bentar kali ini gue mau liat dulu game apaan yang seru..."
"Eh parah gila lo.. assignmentt! Lo tuh masih ada sinoptik kaliii... Masiih aja mikirin game."
"Santai... bentar aja koookk.. Tar di kampus ampe jam 7 deh, janji2..."
"Ah gak percaya lagi gue ama lo... kemaren aja lo jadinya balik jam 5. Hahh, udah gitu di rumah juga gak ngapa2in.. Parah bangett..."
"Iya2, janji, sekarang gue di perpus ampe jam 7 terus di rumah boleh maen yah..."
"Yang bener lo ah.. Sakit banget lo.. Kebiasaan deh gak pernah nganggep serius masalah kaya ginian."
"Iya2, gue janji. Tar dulu deh ya.. Sekarang maen dulu..."
"Au ah."

Unbalanced

2009-06-24T18:57:00.002+08:00

Jari tangan kanan saya lebih panjang daripada jari tangan kiri.
Kaki kanan saya lebih besar setengah ukuran daripada kaki kiri.
Mata kanan saya -1.75 sementara mata kiri saya normal.

I think I'm pretty much unbalanced.

Pécheresse (pinjem dulu ya, Helda :p)

2009-05-19T10:12:00.002+08:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

I thought that I am involved in too much greed and envy, yet I scored medium... Weird...

What a Productive Day!

2009-04-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

taken from: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Another Beggar Resolution

2009-04-25T12:33:00.002+08:00

Di suatu hari yang cerah, sebuah keluarga bahagia (yang rada2 ngawur juga kayanya), pergi jalan-jalan ke luar kota untuk mengisi liburan. Di tengah perjalanan panjang, mereka memutuskan untuk beristirahat di sebuah restoran bakmi yang mereka lewati. Melihat seorang pengemis yang menghampiri meja mereka, sang ayah memberikan sedikit uang dan mengucapkan sesuatu (masa iya gue promosi di sini?).

Melanjutkan perbuatannya, sang ayah berusaha membangun sebuah father-daughter conversation mengenai kehidupan.

Ayah: "Coba, kak, kez, mut, denger papap dulu. Kalian tau kan ada tiga tipe kecerdasan di dunia ini: IQ, EQ, dan SQ."
Ade2: "Hah? SQ apaan tuh?"
Ayah: *sedikit kesal* "Masa ga tau, de? SQ itu Spiritual Quotient. Menurut livepositive.com, adalah kecerdasan ultima yang bisa membawa makna lebih dalam hidup kita. Ini adalah mengenai semangat hidup, bagaimana kita carry on, meng-heal diri dalam menghadapi berbagai macam masalah, dan bagaimana kita live our life. (boong deng, bapaknya ga bilang gitu, ini mah gue search aja sendiri...)"
Ade2: "Oooo, iya, terus kenapa? Kalo gitu aku SQ dong. Hahahaha."
Ayah: *tidak menggubris komentar anaknya, diam2 merasa miris karena anaknya sama sekali ga punya SQ, bahkan mungkin EQ, IQ? hela napas dalam2 aja deh* "Ya, begitu tadi, contohnya sikap seseorang terhadap pengemis seperti tadi..."

Kakak: *berpikir, "apakah ini adalah ajang narsis? Ah, mana mungkin, ini mungkin cara seorang ayah aja untuk mengajari anak-anaknya dengan memberi contoh yang baik..."*

Ayah: "Ya, seperti papap bilang tadi. Misalnya aja orang ber-IQ tinggi. Ketika melihat pengemis seperti itu, yang ada di pikirannya mungkin adalah bahwa pengemis itu pasti sulit makan dan lain-lain karena tidak punya uang. Karenanya ketika si pengemis datang kepadanya, ia akan memberi uang."

Ayah: "Selanjutnya untuk orang yang ber-EQ tinggi, pandangannya terhadap cara hidup si pengemis akan lebih mendalam. Dia akan mengamati dari sorot matanya dan merasa terenyuh atas penderitaan-penderitaan berat yang telah menempa hidupnya. Karenanya, ketika si pengemis datang, ia mungkin akan memberi uang, lalu tersenyum, dalam hati mendoakan supaya si pengemis mendapat rezeki pada hari ini."

Ayah: "Sementara orang yang memiliki SQ akan mengerti lebih banyak. Bahwa pengemis ini memang memerlukan bantuan dalam bentuk materi dan support. Setelah memberi uang, ia mungkin akan tersenyum, dan mengajak ia mengobrol dan memberi motivasi kepada si pengemis, bagaimana cara menghadapi hidup dengan hati yang lebih bergembira." *wajah berseri-seri*

Ayah: *melanjutkan dengan penekanan* "Lalu, menurut kalian, mana yang lebih baik?"

Ade2 dan Ade3: *udah tau ke mana arah pembicaraan ini akan berlangsung* "yang terakhir lah, pap."
Ayah: "Nah, benar kan...?"

Kakak: *ketawa2* "Ahhh belom tentuuuu... Ini kan tergantung juga si pengemisnya punya tingkat kecerdasan yang mana. Misalnya dia ketemu orang yang ber-SQ tinggi sementara dia sendiri ga punya SQ dan lebih cenderung punya IQ. Ketika dia diajak duduk dan makan2, mungkin dia malah mikir, 'Haduh, apaan sih ni orang sok2 ngajak ngomong, drpd saya duduk dengerin dia ngoceh, mendingan saya jalan ke meja sebelah nyari duit lagi, daripada buang2 waktu kaya gini' Coba, jadi diperlukan tingkat kecerdasan yg baru, yang lebih strategic!"

Ayah: "........" *merasa terpukul karena pesan yang udah cape2 diomongin panjang2 malah diterima dengan ngelantur* "Ya udah, yang penting Kez ama Mut ngerti kan? Oh, mienya udah dateng. Ayo kita makan!"

...................inget lagi sama Paradoks Anak Jalanan ala Freckles v1.0 :)

Toxificated

2009-04-25T11:42:00.002+08:00

Sumpah gak ngerti gue apa yang ada di pikiran depkes ato apalah yg itu departemen yg bertanggung jawab atas penyemprotan insektisida anti nyamuk Aedes aegypti (aka. fogging ya?) di sekitar rumah gue.

Kemaren malem tiba2 ada suara berisik ala mobil tukang semprot lewat depan gue, diiringi dengan bau2 racun. Jam 8 ato jam 10 malem gitu seinget gue. Udah berisik, ngeracunin, lama lagi. Mau kabur keluar pun di luar udah melingkupi rumah gue gitu fognya. Sekitar 10-20 menit lah mau ga mau gue menghirup aromaterapi jenis baru ini. Sempet gue ama hosmet gue ngomel2, "kenapa sih mesti nyemprot pas seisi rumah lagi ada di rumah? Mbok ya siang2 gitu lagi pas orang pada ngantor ato kuliah..."

Dan gue pikir memang selesai sudah sampai di situ.

Tapi ternyataaa!! Tadi ketika langit masih gelap (kayanya sekitar jam 6-an deh, gue lupa liat jam, masih gelap) dan gue masih dalam fasa tidur mimpi panjang (REM kah? Au ah), gue terbangun oleh suara yang sama. Ya Tuhan... What the hell are they thinking?? Mungkinkah:

petugas1: "brader, ni kite punye insecticide masih banyak lagi, nak buat apee?"
petugas2: "let's start fogging on the last row of houses again, but not now. Later when they're having deep sleeps when they will never realize that we're slowly killing them with the toxic contained in the fog we're spraying at them. Then we can take over and rule the universe!! Muahahahahah."
petugas1:: "ahyak. Oke lar brader, apa u kate je lar...."

Kedengeran seperti skenario Pinky and The Brain.

Sumpah ya, kamar gue adalah kamar yg terekspos ke pinggir jalan, sehingga kamar gw yang akan menerima paling banyak racunnya. Apapun efek dari racun itu, gw yang akan paling menerima dampak yg signifikan. Kalo racunnya mengandung MSG, maka gue akan jauh lebih bego dari hosmet2 gue yang lain. Kalo racunnya mengandung insektisida, maka gue akan paling ga kutuan daripada hosmet2 gue yang lain. Kalo racunnya mengandung obat cacing, gue akan lebih gemuk daripada hosmet2 gue yang lain, yang (mungkin) masih cacingan. Dan, for sure, racun adalah racun, maka gue paling berpotensi kena kanker daripada hosmet2 gue yang lain.

Oh my god!

To whom shall I file my complain??

Jealousy

2009-04-23T23:46:00.001+08:00

Sebelom ngafal... Satu lagi lagu yg lagi stuck di kepala gue :)
Oiya, this song has nothing to do with my current situation ya. hehehehe. Cuman lagi suka aja :D

Sara Bareilles - Between the Lines

Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause i cant continue pretending to choose
The opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could wrong be this many times

My memory is cruel
Im queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn i'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only i had been listening

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

I thought i thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So i've learned to listen through silence

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me be
You and me always be

I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me i'm almost ready
When he meant let go

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always be
You and me
Always between the lines

Management Accounting

2009-04-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

chiko: "iya, jack, elo mah ga usah belajar juga udah pinteerr..."
gue: "ngga juga chik, td dia bilang dia belajar variance ampe 2 hari sendiri."
jack: "what what?"
gue: "no, i jz told chiko that u spent 2 days alone to study variance."
jack: "oh, yes, i did... but it was bcos i only have that lecture notes. i dont have others..."
gue: ".........."

Corporate Financial Reporting

2009-04-15T22:54:00.002+08:00

Dear Pa and Ma,

I never skipped the classes. I listened to the lecturer as she explained all those things about IAS. I tried to figure out the concepts to understand the whole pie. I did my revisions. I went after her when I ran into difficulties. Things don't seem to get clearer.

My effort might not be the best. Deepest apologies for the failure of your daughter. I will try my best for the rest of the week... to catch up on this by doing other subjects.

Sincerely,

.me.

Boys

2009-04-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

They will never get to know when to stop...

女の事男の事 (Things about Girls, Things about Boys)

2009-04-09T08:33:00.004+08:00

They are totally different things.

When they are dealing with a sensitive matters, girls would handle it in an emotional way, very much likely to grown into an outrageous and exaggerated reaction, while boys, in the same situation, will be there to flatten up the fluctuation and to be the calm one, to deal with the situation more accurately.

No arguing.

Girls are girls are boys are boys.

However, when the table is turned, you can see how desperate boys are when girls are facing their stuff helplessly. During your periodical pain, labour, and maybe some emotional thingies. While you are struggling so hard to deal with them all, they can only watch in fear.

And they will finally see that you are growing stronger than them. While you might cry during a sad movie or you see a dead dog on the street, they might not be able to stand those periodical inconveniences and delivering the baby right through the... okay, you know what I mean.

The point is, I watched John Q last night.

I almost cried.

Because I know if I were ever to be Michael Archibald, I know for sure that my father will there to kill himself to put me back to life. He's just that kind of a father. The best father in the whole world, indeed.

Even though I know it is not my situation... it's just difficult to be a girl, isn't it?

Patience

2009-03-29T18:33:00.001+08:00

Ku lama menanti
suasana bermelodi
Turutlah menyanyi
bersama kita semua

Lupakan segala resahmu
kisahkan hari-hari yang datang
Kau sambut semua
dengan cinta dan kasih sesama

Ku lama menanti
dalam sebuah laguku
Rasanya memberi
bahagia kita semua

Sekali pernah dikatakan
nada-nada yang kusenandung aaa
Tak kan dinikmati
bagaimana kedengarannya
suara yang mengalun ini

Priorities

2009-03-25T22:12:00.003+08:00

yctham@dA

I see people come and go with their choices
There are smiles
There are not
Yet they do it anyway
Some ways I let myself impressed
Some I let myself disguise my disgust
I believe it's only a matter of choices

Me myself, I have put into my own situation
I made up my mind
I put myself to the test
I believe this shall bring no harm
but instead
I long for my freedom

This girl
this very particular girl
she never let herself got carried away by the past
Desperately believing in today
or tomorrow
but not
and not at the very least
yesterday

Human adore their envy
For the grass on the other side will always look greener
I never thought I would fall into this classic scheme
Looking through I see
Uncertainty
A glance of success that quenches
Then uncertainty

What am I whining about?
Who am I kidding?
Whatever, I got assignment to do.

Busy as a Bee

2009-03-18T01:28:00.003+08:00

Indonesian post.

So, beberapa minggu ini jadwal gue cukup padat merayap. Yaa, cukup berlebihan untuk dibilang padat, tapi gue ga se-nganggur waktu masih awal kuliah (ya iyalah). The main reason is, our very own Indonesian Society (IS) has been realising our activities starting from the month of February. Our BBQ was a hit and now on March, we're having our 'Cultural Week Show's during lunchtimes.

Tersebutlah sebuah kebijaksanaan daripada Department of Student Affairs (DSA) di mana setiap society yang legally listed with them harus mengisi acara di kantin jam 12-1 siang, pas lagi rame-ramenya orang makan siang. Maret setiap hari Rabu minggu kedua, ketiga, dan keempat, IS harus berbuat bodoh menghibur orang2 yang gue yakin udah cukup terhibur dengan makanan yg ada di depan muka mereka.

It was my own experience! I mean, dlu ada African Society yg melakukan kegiatan sama dan gue totally don't give a damn. Gue makan ya makan, dia perform ya perform. Enough. Apapun tujuan DSA dalam melakukan kegiatan ini, I tell you, ini nyari-nyari kerjaan banget.

Gue, yang awalnya setengah terpaksa, ikut eksis di bidang tari saman. Ini adalah voluntary idea daripada para wanita untuk mengisi acara dengan menari *which they regret later karena kaga ada panggung yg muat buat nampung kita ber-14, ahahahahaha, dan kita bakal keliatan kaya orang bego duduk di lantai, nepok2 debu sementara orang lalu lalang pesen makanan*

Maka hari-hari gue pun diisi dengan latihan *oke elo boleh mulai mual membayangkan gue berusaha menghafal gerakan tarian yg ada. untungnya bukan tari jawa yg lemah gemulai itu...*, dan juga nyanyiannya.

Kegiatan gue pun bertambah. Saman, buat assignment, latihan buat ngiringin di Kajang, entertaining myself, dan berusaha untuk belajar berolah raga rutin. Gue mulai ngerasa rame lagi kaya waktu SMA, yang mana kegiatan gue sempet super duper padet bgt *bukan karena ekstrakurikuler, tapi karena ada bimbel dan IELTS preparation dan kegiatan hura-hura lainnya* yang mana gue harus mengenakan seragam sekolah dari jam 6.30 pagi sampe jam 6 malem dan klo ga sempet pulang lagi, sampe jam 9 malem beberapa kali dalam seminggu. Most of the time cmn sampe jam 6 aja sih. Lanjut Sabtu gue ada latihan vocal group dan Minggu gereja.

Sometimes I miss the old times. Di mana gue punya kegiatan yang menyehatkan *yang membuat gue dlu ga perlu cape2 membatasi makanan supaya tetep kurus* dan gue enjoy ngerjain semuanya.

Karenanya gue seneng bgt bisa punya kegiatan kaya gini :)

However, semoga ini semua berenti di bulan ini aja... Exam akan tiba dalam sebulan lagi. Shid. Gue ga yakin siap untuk Quantitative Analysis of Financial Market dan Corporate Financial Accounting. Huhuhuh.

Pencarian master, dimulai!

Black Panther

2009-03-15T10:59:00.002+08:00

You are Black Panther, who can show rich affection and possess warm motherly tenderness.
You are not cautious person, and are passionate enough to express yourself openly to lead life.
You tend to be hard on yourself, but are kind and devoted to other people.
You prefer to have a career, and play an active part in the society.
You possess strong self-confidence and beliefs.
You put your passing ideas immediately into action.
Therefore you give an impression of daring and person with strong driving force.
You don't bargain so much, and the way in which you act according to your instinct and passion gives feminine attraction.
You use your endless dreams as driving force.
Once you decide on something, you are extremely determined to complete it, and don't care about the public opinions.
It may be good for you to have some kind of modesty and self-examination.
You have great artistic and beauty sense.
You may be suited to have a career as a fashion designer or interior coordinator.
You tend to please everyone besides your family.
Towards your own family, you are hard and nagging.
When you get married you will turn out as a wife who takes control of the household.

Taken from : Doubutsu Uranai

In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part

2009-02-23T23:44:00.005+08:00

A very good friend of mine shared his favourite band, Silverchair and I finally managed to get my hand on their-said-"masterpiece", album of Diorama.

"I'm watching you watch over me and I got the greatest view from here."
(The Greatest View)

"Half full glasses
Lost in empty houses
When your world's not feeling ugly
The world's not too much
Take the world upon your shoulders
And burn, burn, burn, burn, burn"
(World Upon Your Shoulders)

"You brighten my life like a polystyrene hat
But it melts in the sun like a life without love
But I've waited for you so I'll keep holding on
Without You"
(Without You)

and that's why I love this album :)

Another weird thing...

2009-02-22T12:33:00.002+08:00

Semalem gue mimpi lagi... Setelah beberapa lama gue ga inget mimpi gue, akhirnya gue ngalamin lagi mimpi yang berasa nyataa banget kaya gini.

Ceritanya gue lagi di SMA kelas 1, dengan anak2 yang sama sekali ga gue kenal. Terus gurunya yg ngajar kaya Albert Lee. Ada co-ce duduk dua bangku di depan gue yang malah nyanyi2 sama ngegitar (akustik bagus gitu sih, bagus juga si co-nya maennya, dan cakep juga orangnya) padahal si gurunya lagi ngejelasin.

Lama-lama gurunya marah, lalu dia nanya siapa yang nyanyi-nyanyi di kelas. Pikir gue, "wtf, kenapa dia pake nanya siapa yang nyanyi. Jelas-jelas kedengeran??" Lalu ada satu anak ce yg duduk paling depan dengan kacamata setebel pantat botol dan muka songong maju ke depan, nyebutin dengan lantang siapa yang nyanyi2 di kelas... yakni si pasangan tadi, temen2 gue yg duduk di depan gue, dan juga gue!

Gue langsung teriak spontan, "bukan saya kok yang nyanyi2, pak! Suer deh. Lo jangan sok tau ya, nuduh2 orang sembarangan! Belom pernah nyoba SMA dua kali ya?"

w.t.f...??

Dan gue baru sadar bahwa waktu itu gue udah lulus kuliah dan lagi nunggu panggilan kerja. Sambil nunggu panggilan kerja, gue pun iseng SMA lagi.

gue semakin takjub akan ke-absurd-an otak gue...

Autism

2009-02-20T22:11:00.007+08:00

Belakangan ini rasanya gue ga pernah sadar waktu. Hal ini dikarenakan proporsi waktu yang gue habiskan dengan dunia lebih sedikit daripada dengan alam rekaan gue. Contohnya sekarang. Seinget gue abis mandi tadi hari masih terang, meski mulai redup dan gue udah mulai nyalain lampu. Lalu gue berkutat dengan laptop dan mata gue fokus di satu titik aja, sementara gear di otak gue terus gue lumasi supaya berputar terus dan terus tanpa harus komplain karena cape. Tau-tau udah jam 10 aja loh.

Udah gue duga, kekuatiran gue yang awalnya gue kira ga beralasan ini ternyata memang semestinya ga beralasan. Gimanapun juga, firasat ga enak gue terbukti. Gue sangat ngga suka perasaan unsettled dan unsecured. Karena itu ketika otak gue mengidentifikasi masalah di ujung jalan, gue langsung panik dan segera mencari pondasi. Dan ketika pondasi itu ga gue temukan, gue semakin panik, panik, dan panik.

Dan sekarang masalah itu udah di depan mata aja. Ga heran seharian ini punggung gue dingin dan telapak tangan gue basah terus, ditambah lagi gue deg-degan intens dan keringet yang entah kenapa rasanya ngumpul terus di kepala. Kejadian.

Rencana gue di ambang kegagalan, janji-janji gue bakalan patah karena yang kuasa udah menurunkan titah. Dan yang kuasa itu mutlak, ga terbantahkan. Negosiasi demi negosiasi gue luncurkan. Ciuu ciuuu ciuuuu. Semuanya ditolak dengan halus, bikin gue tambah kalut. Gue harus menyaksikan semua rencana dan pondasi gue luluh dimakan nasib. Kambing. Gue emang udah memperkirakan ini semua mungkin terjadi. Tapi siapa sih yang pengen worst case scenarionya terwujudnyatakan? -_-"

Somehow gue tau juga sih sebenernya apa yang gue hindari ini justru sesuatu yang mestinya gue jalani. Sesuatu yang, yah... boleh dibilang, kondisi aman yang sesungguhnya. Tapi gue pengen yang lain. Kalo mau ngutip kata2 di Serial Cantik yg pernah gue baca, "Yang 99% itu bisa gue pahami, tapi gue tetep mau mempertahankan yang 1%."

Ya Tuhan, ijinin Manda buat ngejalanin ini.

Lalu si autis pun menembakkan meriam terakhirnya: ia menunduk dan memohon belas kasihan.
"Oke deh."

Senyum merekah di bibir si autis yang mencurangi perang.

Weird

2009-02-13T09:27:00.002+08:00

Semalem gue mimpi aneh. Sumpah aneh abis.

Suddenly bokap gue disuruh pindah ke Amerika sama kantornya, bersama dengan keluarganya dan itu wajib, selama 2 bulan. Gue udah seneng aja, asyik gue bisa kuliah di Amrik, tapi ternyata kita di sana ga diijinin sekolah ato ngapa2in. Sumpah gue ngga ngerti apa yang terjadi. Isi rumah gue diangkut dan dipindahin (ga tau juga gw dipindahin kmn, tp masa iya sih di-ship ke Amrik?) dan kunci rumah dikasih ke kantor (ini roman2nya malah kaya ni rumah disita deh).

Lalu berangkatlah gue ke Amrik, tgl 5 Maret 2009. Ternyata gue tinggal di apartemen (apa hotel ya). Nama hotelnya apa yah, Straightway (kampring abis) or something deh, gue ga inget. Padahal sampe beberapa menit yg lalu gue masih inget loh. Tapi skrg gw udah lupa euy. Di situ yg gue inget cuman gue sama ade gw yg gde, si Kezia. So from now on klo gue nyebut Kezia, means gue ngerefer ke ade gue yeh.

Lalu gue pun punya temen-temen 3 orang, yg gw ga inget siapa aja. Pokoknya jadinya kita berlima deh. Trus kita jalan-jalan di sana dan menemukan sebuah tempat yg serem abis. Gelap-gelap gitu. Lalu kita ketauan menyusup ama orang yg jaga. Lalu kita lari-lari ke dalem gedungnya trus ternyata di dalem jalannya bercabang. Di tengah-tengah ada bapak-bapak tua berpakaian pastor tapi dengan muka bengis. Otak gue segera bekerja cepat, "ini pasti rumah persekutuan antikris!".

Si bapak menatap kita dengan wajah mengancam, menyuruh kita masuk ke lorong kanan, yg mana gue yakin banget itu pasti pusat pemujaannya. Gue liat di kiri. Loh kok ada pengajian anak2? Gw mau kabur ke sana tp takut ngeganggu, ya udah jadi kita ke kanan deh. Setelah gue pikir2 kok gue bego banget ya?

Seperti yg gue duga di sana gelap, penuh dengan suara2 mengerikan yg membuat bulu roma berdiri. Gue dan temen-temen gue masih berusaha kabur. Lalu muncullah utusan Lucifer berwujud seperti Chin SF (sumpah gue ga bohong, gw juga ga ngerti, lu bayangin deh Chin SF versi co, nah itu setan yg ngejar2 gw kmrn malem). Kita lari-lari dikejar Chin, lalu sampailah kita di penghujung gedung. Endingnya seperti di film2 action. Kita terpojok di atap gedung gitu, dan gue cuman bertiga. Gue, Kezia, sama temen gw yg lain.

Gue ga begitu inget detailnya but here goes:
Chin: "hmmm sepertinya kalian ga lengkap lagi ya?" *seringai jahat
Temen gue: "menurut loo?" *sempet2nya dia ngocol
Gue: *stand up for love* "Ini pasti gara2 lo kan??"
Kezia: *ngeliat gue stand up dia ikutan, duh gue terharu banget waktu itu*

Lalu gue pun berduel dengan Chin SF. Entah badan gw yg jadi ringan abis di tu mimpi apa Chin emang punya kekuatan sakti pinjaman neraka tp yg pasti dia mampu ngangkat2 gue. Bener-bener seru abis. Dia mau ngelempar gw ke udara, gue pegangan ama celana jeansnya dan ketika dia lagi ga siap gue tendang t*t*tnya. Setelah tiga kali nendang t*t*t, dia pun melemah dan menyerah kalah lalu menjelaskan sesuatu yg gw udah lupa sekarang. Kayanya sih tentang kenapa dia benci kita semua atau apa gitu. Yang pasti kita sekarang bisa pulang. Gue sama Kezia langsung kepikiran ade gue yg di rumah.

Sementara gue ama ade gue jalan berdua, gue liat Chin mulai ngikutin kita lagi dan seringai jahat itu mulai ada lagi. Gue sama ade gue mulai lari sambil gandengan dan ternyata kita juga dipinjami kekuatan sorga. Kita bisa lari super cepet dan melayang! Sambil lari, trus kita lompat, bisa ngelayang deh. Dan ajaibnya, pas kita lagi melayang itu, waktu seperti berhenti. Kita bisa enjoy menikmati angin yang mengangkat kita sambil liat2 pemandangan.

Oke jadi kita kabur. Melewati komplek apartemen mewah. Lalu ketika gue mau keluar dari komplek itu, gue ngeliat ada pos satpamnya. Maka gue ama ade gue memutuskan untuk ngga menggunakan kekuatan super kita tapi lari biasa aja biar ga memancing perhatian. Eeeh, pas liat kita lewat, satpamnya nyegat.

Katanya, "Dek, maaf, bisa lihat KTPnya?"
Gue, "Aduh, Pak saya males deh, ga ada kayanya. Bayar berapa, Pak?"
Dia lagi, "Oh, dua puluh ribu, dek, ini slipnya sudah saya siapkan." (wtf, pikir gue)
Ade gue, "Kak, ini kayanya ada deh KTP kamu, nih."
Gue, "Oiya, iya, Pak, nih KTP saya, udah kan? Balikin dua puluh ribu saya. Makasih."

Lalu gue sama ade gue pun lari2 nyebrang jalan sembarangan kaya di Indo dan trafficnya pun berasa kaya di Indo banget (ya iyalah gmn gue mau ngebayangin Amrik, wong blom pernah ke sana). Gue ama ade gue mulai cape dan kita mulai keilangan arah. Tau-tau ada preman India yang nyamperin kita.
"Hey, liat sepatu gue bagus deh."

Gue sama ade gue berusaha ngambil langkah seribu. Tapi kita udah cape banget. Mana berat bawaan. Ada dompet gue, slip (yg anehnya tebel abis) dari pak polisi, trus apa lagi gitu. Banyak bgt deh. Dan yg gue tau, preman di sana itu udah nyewa satu area buat operasi dia. Jadi mau kita minta tolong pun ga bakal bisa karena mereka udah diancam untuk ga ikut campur.

Gue sama ade gue jalan cepet ngos-ngosan. Sementara tambah banyak preman yg ngejar kita. Mereka sengaja ngga lari tapi ikutan jalan cepet (sambil ngomong2 bahasa India yg gw duga sih kayanya klo diterjemahin bakal jadi, "neng kok jalannya cepet2 sih? Ayo dong neng maen sama abang aja..."), kayanya mau ngerjain kita. Sambil berusaha kabur, gue teriak di kafe terbuka pinggir jalan gitu minta tolong. Yang punya malah ngorek kuping sambil bilang, "ntar aja deh, ni acara tivinya lagi bagus." Kampring.

Gue masih berusaha jalan terus sampe gue liat mobil VW Kodok warna merah isinya kakek2, gue teriak lagi minta tolong. Lalu anehnya dia keliatan kaget, lalu ngeluarin pistol. Nembak-nembakin para preman itu sambil teriak2, "You don't know with whom you're messing with!! I'm the **something2 i forget**, Mr. **gue lupa juga namanya siapa**!!" Dorr dorr doorrr!!

Setelah preman-preman itu kabur dia ngajak gue dan ade gue ngobrol. Katanya dia itu mantan petinggi pemerintahan lokal (Sherrif?) dan dia mengenal kota ini dengan terlampau baik sekali. Trus gue sama ade gue saking capenya jadi minta tolong, boleh ga dianterin ke hotel kita. Dia pun mengiyakan sambil mengajak kita naek VW bututnya (on a second thought, itu keliatan lebih kaya mobil Donal yg 1313 itu loh) yang ga berhenti2 ngeluarin asep item.

Tiba-tiba firasat buruk gue bekerja ketika melihat ekspresi aneh di wajah si kakek dan gue pun terbangun...

mimpi itu bener2 berasa nyata loh. :(

It doesn't feel like an end

2009-02-11T08:37:00.018+08:00

I'm tired of everything so I just simply decide to give it a shot, to finish them off. But no matter how I tried to compel it, they just never seem to understand the meaning of urgency and communication is only another term of useless effort and shame. My heart tells me to always give a chance yet the stone inside cried out loud to give no mercy. Today I choose the stone. I'm throwing it away. I ain't gonna let it bother me no more.

I know this is not the very wise thing to do. I realise that this is not what a good girl will do, what a child will do. I know for sure, I'm able to move on, but today I just feel like everything is wasted. Nothing I'll give would be sufficient or enough to get what I wanted except I insist. And I don't want to insist. So I believe letting go is the easiest way than hanging around with a hungry heart.

This is the most self-centered, egoist part of me I've ever known. I summoned it to collect the stones and get rid of the heavy atmosphere inside of me, even though it means I have to lost the best part of me, my favourite part of me.

Yet it does not feel like an end.

Is it just my imagination?
That I might, unconciously, wish that this will never end.

I'm not scared of you now
Or so i say
There's no reason to run
Although i may
I'm not as sure as i seem
This much i know
What does it mean when you leave and i follow

I could try to forget what you do when i let you get
Through to me but then you do it over again
(Sara Bareilles - Morningside)

It sounds different when you cut the vitals away...

Update on the same day, 5.44 PM

It appears that it's not that easy to be strict to something loose.

A girl is holding a porcelain decoration called love, given by her precious one. She treasures it so much that she shows it to everyone she knows and carries it everywhere. However, it was quite a burden for such a little girl and she dropped it of exhaustion.

She cried in desperation, looking at the big pieces of previously a beautiful token of love. She was so tired and her hands are numb.

She tells herself, "it's okay, I'll pick it up and carry it like always." and she collects every single piece of it and let them rest on her tiny little palms.

She puts on a smiley face because she knows that people can still see the beautiful painting on the porcelain pieces. However, the sharp edges of the pieces tears her soft skin. The pain and blood let the porcelain slips from her hand, to fall, once again.

She cried in desperation, regretting her carelessness and weakness, that she is just a little girl, in love. Again, she picks up each and every single piece of her broken heart and pretend that everything is okay. She wants to be strong to carry her love through.

The pieces scatters on her hand, hurting the unhealed wounds while the beautiful paintings are now covered by blood. She keeps on putting a smiley face but she gets weaker and weaker than ever, tragically. She hopes to get stronger but now a single wind blows her off.

She drops everything and cried in desperation. Now she doubts if she will ever be able to endure the pain. To give up is one option. But will it be as easy as it sounds?

In the End (Pictorial Post)

2009-02-10T15:46:00.017+08:00

These four days I've been waiting impatiently and today it's finally here. The big package came from Penang and the other one is from Subang Jaya. I requested the item to be delivered last Thursday but it only made it into Friday batch, means it'll have to wait for the long weekend to arrive at Desa Melati.

What's inside?

Yep, the newspapers are there to 'protect' the item inside. It's the second hand keyboard I bought with half of my allowance this month. I don't have much to explain as I have the experience of this instrument. More or less, it's good enough yet I'd really like one with a touch response. That's why I initiated to get the second package (you see the smaller one on the first pic?)

I took this pic from the seller's post. Hahaha. It's a sustain pedal for Yamaha Keyboard. I got it cheap, actually, the previous owner got it new from someone as an unwanted gift, he sold it to another guy which found that the pedal is not compatible with his Casio keyboard and it's now mine.

I tried to attach the pedal to my (new *uhum*) keys. The weird part is, the voice is sustained when I let go of the pedal instead of pressing it. It's a total contrast to my experiences. Hmm, I don't know if I can adapt to this difference. I'm actually planning of getting the third part to complete this set, which I think will help me in adapting to this weird difference. Or anybody interested in getting this pedal for RM50? :)

Kuli Tinta

2009-02-06T22:34:00.008+08:00

I don't even know why I write this. I just had a chat with a journalist friend and I'm reminded of my aunt. My sweet (literally) little "Aju Ade". She's my mother's unmarried younger sister and I am to address her inangbaju (don't really know the proper term, but I've been calling her "Aju Ade" ever since I could remember). I guess we're just simplifying everything.

Physically described, she's as tall as my nose, with wavy and somewhat messy hair (I guess I've been telling sooo many stories about her hair ;p), and shall I say relatively peculiar? Hahahaha. She majored in politics and had experiences in writing for several publishers. Currently titled the Deputy Editor of Van Zorge, Heffernan & Associates. (Taken from her facebook ;p)

She's a loving character. A very tough and responsible, independent woman to my mindset. She's funny and smart and seemed very matured and dependable. I just realised this but she has the aura that spreads comfort as people keen to get close to her.

I can always picture this situation in my mind that every man in my family gather around her, listening in obvious enthusiasm to her story of what's actually happening out there, in our country, in the world, not the manipulated story printed and brought on the broadcasts. They will question this thing, that thing I can never understand and she always got the answer. At the end of the discussion, she would sip her favourite black coffee while everybody digest the conversation and did the nods of understanding with enlightened smiles. Then they relax and she is always there with fresh jokes and responses to most of the topics.

I understand that she is not perfect, as an ordinary human beings with flaws here and there. But I really appreciate that she tried to be there when I asked for my press release assignment, then my law coursework and she showed sincerity in her approaches. How I remember clearly that she said that she's proud of me as her niece, and on other occasion asked me to pray for her to be granted of wealth and stuff in her twisted kind of way. We haven't had enough time together, to go to karaoke with my other aunt as we promised together, or anything else.

Now, after everything I've said, I seriously don't know how to finish this post. Hahaha. To say that I miss her, that I always miss the chance to say that I love her, that I miss my old times when I enjoy the family gatherings, that I'm thankful for the strength and inspiration she presented for me as I write the whole thing, or what? I guess I'll just continue to pray as she requested me to. Hahaha :p (and to spread all the stories we had together to everyone I know... lol)

Tagged, again

2009-02-05T09:53:00.009+08:00

Footprints Award

Ini diberikan oleh Helda. Mengutip dari blognya, sepertinya award untuk blog yang sering dikunjungi. Aligatou, Helda. *suara Peanut yang melengking*

This award comes with the following consequences.
First, put this logo on your blog
Second, answer these questions below:

1. What is your main reason to make a blog?
I guess I just want to keep track of myself. Last time when I stopped blogging, I read my previous blog (Freckles™ v1.0) and I was amused by my own writings. Basically, I am not actually entertaining anyone but myself from my posts. However, it feels somewhat nice to share your daily thought to the web. So, here goes Freckles™ v2.0 :)

2. Whose blog that visit after you make your own blog?
Ha.. usually open my blog dashboard before posting so I can see the updates from the blogs I'm following. :)

3. Tag 5 people you visit often!
Euh, Gelardi, Ayyi, Zee, Gianayu, Afina (biar lo ada bahan postingan, fin :p).

Hehhee, I guess that's all for now. Belum ada bahan racau-an yg baru nih. Mari kita menunggu dengan sabar...

I Found Something Sweet ♥

2009-01-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

The Melody of Love

2009-01-29T09:39:00.025+08:00

Setelah nonton Gin iro no Kami no Agito (tengs me :D), gw jadi ketagihan banget sama Kokia. Gw baru donlot 1 albumnya yang The Voice, kedo gw masih tersepona sangat sama sontreknya si Gin iro no Kami no Agito-nya sendiri, berjudul Ai no Melody dan Chouwa Oto ~ With Reflection.

Yang mau gw share skrg adalah Ai no Melody. Gw menerawang, tsaelah apaan sih :p, meng-google liriknya dan gw tersentuh banget sama liriknya yang bener-bener menceritakan cinta. :) Bahwa kita jatuh cinta adalah bukti paling konkrit dari kenyataan bahwa kita hidup, betapa ia bukan hal yang mudah untuk mengajar kita berjalan maju. Bagaimanapun, perasaan in love itu ga ada yang bisa nandingin kan? :)

ps. pusing gw dari tadi berjuang biar tampilannya cantik tapi ngga bisa-bisa :( dakara, post translate eigo-nya aja ya :)

You’re just like the sunlight through the leaves
Gave me the happy smile, courage and will to live on

The warmth of the heart in my memory
Is beyond all the trammels

It’s all because of you, that I can live like myself

Singing I was born to love you is the proof of my love
And you trust that this feeling will be sent to you, and that you are still alive

Pity, happiness, sorrow, vexation, regret, anxiety
Make up the melody of love

Before I untied the knot in my heart
We were separated, but I have no regrets though I was sad
‘Keep the love alive’ I said this to myself
In order to keep the promise alive

The melody is surrounded by the love, fly to the sky

In that spring of overflowing love, to show you something more important than you have seen with your own eyes
This love for you is so deep, through time and space,
Beyond life itself, this is the song of my love

I touch your body and feel your breath, ‘are you asleep already?’
If you are, then I whisper ‘I love you’

It’s all because of you, that I can live like myself
Singing I was born to love you is the proof of my love
And you trust that this feeling will be sent to you, and that you are still alive

In that spring of overflowing love, to show you something more important than you have seen with your own eyes

The flow of the melody when I met you
Still exist in this shaking time

Pity, happiness, sorrow, vexation, regret, anxiety
Make up the melody of love

Pity, happiness, sorrow, vexation, regret, anxiety
Make up the melody of love

Happy-Go-Lucky

2009-01-27T22:54:00.002+08:00

"Seriously, you can't make everyone happy."
"There's no harm trying, though, is there? Bring a smile to the world."

In Love

2009-01-25T21:19:00.006+08:00

Okay, I'll make this straight. I asked my friend for a recommendation of funny movies to entertain my long-as-hell CNY holiday. Ah, yes, Happy Chinese New Year for you guys. They are saying that this ox year will be dominated by Yin. Well for me, I don't give a damn! Haha, I'm too much influenced by Walter. Time out, I was totally kidding yet I personally don't really take those zodiac things very seriously. From PinoyBusiness.com, I am informed that the basic characteristic of an Ox is methodical and calm, hardworking, dependable and patient, materialistic and an ambitious character. Let's see how this year would turn up to be. :)

For now, let's get back to the handsome smiling face on top. My friend then recommended me to download a set of archives to a standing comedy video, which led me to Jeff Dunham. He does standing comedy as a ventriloquist. I actually had a little traumatic experience and marked ventriloquist under the category of horror. You haven't read Goosebumps, have you? I mean who could erase the mad ventriloquist doll out of his mind after reading every sequels of his terror? I was a small kid, by the way. Yet the experience left quite a mark in my memory.

What about Jeff Dunham the ventriloquist?

His shows are funny as hell!

He has the wonderful ability to bring life out of his dolls. I believe most of the audience are with me, sometimes we forgot that there is someone behind the dolls. I didn't simply take this from his website, however. The characters of those cute comedians in the suitcase are so real. They are not just any ordinary dolls. Jeff has casted on his magic, carefully crafted the personality, unique for each and every one of them. He has wonderful tricks and supreme ventriloquist arts. The fresh humor tops everything off and I ended up having one of my best afternoons, laughing my ass off as I watched "Arguing with Myself".

I was caught in the spell. I mean, who would not fall for that beautiful smile, the smart sense of humor, and his charming attitude on stage? I am very sure he is a caring and loving father (and husband, of course) as well. Hahaha. For you, sweet readers, I recommend you to follow my lead and get his videos. :) Let's sit back and let him take you into his crazy world of sarcasm, perspectives, and laughters. :)

OMS?

2009-01-24T22:20:00.009+08:00

(Ongoing Menstruation Syndrome)

I had a blog full of my laments of living a world of lies (I deleted those stupid posts though, and my PC back home got formatted so I lost every single memoirs of those moments). I've awakened from such situation and I believed in happy endings. However, the world is spinning around and I bumped into a similar circumstances.

Before, I was consciously pretending to be someone I expect everybody will accept. I was not ready enough to face the fierce world of hatred and jealousy and I was hit hard by the reality that my efforts were useless. I had to change and I am undergoing my transformation.

When I realized, I was just me. I can see people looking at me in the way I never expect them to be. I don't mind being detested, I'm just trying to bring out the best in me. It worked well so far. I enjoyed being me and sorting out my characters by any chances.

Nevertheless, shit happens and I'm caught in this situation. I am forced to put on a loving behavior during the, well, I've been through better times before. You might have encountered times when you have to enjoy a conversation you never wished for, at least not in this particular atmosphere. You're saying that you're sorry to solve the problem and you have to swallow up your ego for nothing. You laughed so everybody thinks that you're okay while you're bleeding inside. You show that you care while your heart cries out loud for someone to take care after you. But you're a grown up girl and you believe you get through it.

But you can never deny the tears tearing your cheeks apart, the nights you hold your pillows so tight, hoping for the time to come for them to at least have the slightest clue of how you are feeling. You have executed every procedure of communication but you just never have the courage of saying, "YOU JERK!!" out loud. You have suppressed your emotion and you did the dialogues. You never know the reason but in the end you feel that nothing changed! You know you haven't gone anywhere. But since the procedure ended, you cannot complain.

And it's now about you. Sucking up to your own pain, all alone. Because you think that you will do anything about people you love and care about. But something's not right. You know it yet you spend another night crying your hours to slumber. Nothing is what you can think about or another fake smile while your vision blurs and you're falling into another world of lies.

Breakdowns

2009-01-22T20:59:00.002+08:00

Jaya - Just Once

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for long
What are we doing wrong

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we could break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...

Curhat colongan

2009-01-20T22:14:00.002+08:00

Hoho. Curhat colongan edisi mingguan.
Minggu ini gimana yah... Biasa aja sih. Udah couldn't care less ;)

Hahaha. Cerah ceria.

Eh, correction. Ga juga ding. Masih ada subject-subject yang susahnya, dari awal sem aja udah bikin gue khawatir. Udah gitu textbook-nya setebel2 pantat. Trus dosennya minta kita bawa tuh buku ke kelas. Edan. Ada satu buku Management and Cost Accounting (ada yg mau beliin? ;)) yang ampe skrg gue belum nemu.

Pasalnya adalah tu buku tebelnya 1200 halaman yg klo difotokopi bakal lebih tebel dari pantat dan bakal gw perluin buat synoptic ntar. Original is much preferable lah buat gw jadinya. Berhubung U-Text di kampus blom buka, akhirnya gw googling. Gw ketemu judul yg gw cari di MPH Online dengan harga RM 274. MAKASIH BANGET BANG. Diliat dari mana-mana juga mending gue fotokopi.

Huhuh. Sepertinya gw akan menunggu sampe U-Text buka aja deh. Ato klo ada yang mau jual seken gue akan sangat berminat :)
hehe.

強くになりたい

2009-01-17T01:56:00.008+08:00

I fell. I tell you honestly, I fell. These following days I felt this heavy unhappy feeling burdened me and I let myself to fall.

... to enjoy the lump of loneliness and the feeling of lost.

However, when I check back the updates, it is not yet the time for me to sit back and wail. It's still a long way to go. I cannot step back now. I braced up and carry on. I'm moving forward with a smile on my face. And I will be stronger than ever. :)

A big adv in Nilai College - "if you never try things beyond what you mastered, you will never grow"

Iris

2009-01-16T22:18:00.004+08:00

One song that keeps playing in my mind right now.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Curhat colongan

2009-01-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

Minggu ini janji itu ga ditepati. Mungkin dia lupa :)
Oh well, gw udah berusaha dan menunggu loh.

Hehehe.

Telaaaatt....

2009-01-11T17:07:00.004+08:00

Hari ini gw telat ke Gereja. Gile lo ye, tidur lamaan 10 menit mesti gw tebus dengan telat stengah jam sampe CLCK dan miss worship. Haduh. Minggu depan ga boleh telat lagi deh.

Bete banget gw, sampe KTM ternyata keretanya uda pegih, jadi gw kudu nunggu 20 mnit sampe kereta berikutnya. Sampe KTM Kajang juga busnya pergi pas gw sampe halte. Another 20 mins of waiting.

Mulai deh gw memaki² pihak² yang jauh. Pemerintah Malaysia sama Kajang lah yang kurang menyediakan fasilitas transportasi, mas² supir bas mini yang tadi, kenapa dia ga sabar nunggu rejeki, masinis keretanya kenapa lambat... Ngedumel ngga ngefek yang mana rasanya wajib aja dilakukan untuk mengurangi kekesalan. Mesti cari scapegoat.

Pulangnya juga gitu. Abis beli tiket eehh keretanya dateng, padahal gw harus nyebrang ke platform sebelah. Udah lari² ampir nabrak mba² lambat yang reaksinya seperti gw abis melakukan kejahatan yang ga termaafkan (lagi² berpikiran negatif padahal mah siapa tau dia refleks aja begitu), sampe bawah keretanya jalan di depan muka gw. Gembel. Another 20 mins.

Kalo gw itung waktu gw hari ini udah kebuang 1 jam dengan menunggu. Huhuhuh.

Oiya, a great big HALLELUJAH for my result last sem. Gilaa, dengan result orang² yang kaya gitu (passing rate of .5), gw bener² panik setengah mati. Gw udah mikir hal² yang terburuk, gimana kalo Theory of Finance gw ngulang.

Gw pun mengalami rasa panik berlebihan yang menjalar kepada seluruh aspek kehidupan gw. Gw jadi gw enjoy main game reflexive, ga semangat donlot-donlot, mau online aja rasanya ga kepingin-kepingin amat. (Ato itu karena gw ga bawa mouse ya?)

Nevertheless, intinya hidup gw miserable abis deh. Takut banget gw ngadep Alaz Goh buat minta nilai. Membayangkan rencana hidup gw tahun ini bakal hancur berantakan gara² kmaren gw males belajar TOF. OMIJOOOOTT!! Tapi rupanya gw lupa bahwa Tuhan selalu beserta gw karena ternyata nilai gw B, sodara-sodari!! Terharu abis gw. Huhuhuh. Gw berjanji untuk ngga mengulangi kesalahan gw menjelang exam TOF kemaren. Semester ini harus bisa lebih baik.

First class honour!! (Meleset dikit kan second upper, heuheuheue. Klo gw target second upper ntar melesetnya second lower kan sayang.... Hauhauhauhaua)

Tahun baru!! Resolusi baruu!! Gw mulai merealisasikan semangat tahun baru gw. Gw memulai semester dengan baju-baju yang wangi dan disetrika. Hauhauaha. Muka sih emang udah nasip. Hehehhee.

Happy Sunday, all :)

New Year

2009-01-01T11:07:00.009+08:00

Dear fellas,

Happy New Year!

Let's hope for the new year to be joyous and bless our life entirely.

I guess I'll just post my New Year Resolutions list to remind me of the things I really need to do this year. Okay, here goes...

Deepen my discipleship.
Seriously, the past year has been a MESS. Total mess. I ought to fix this up and I long to do that. New year, new beginning seemed to be a right catch to this. I'll re-decorate my life. :) And this resolution shall involve correcting my mistakes and make sure I'm not losing my grip so I won't fall to the same pits I've been before.

Organise myself, focus on your study, kid!
Yes, indeed. The last semester, especially, I've been such a slacker. I'm not repeating the same stupid behaviour. This year will be different. I shall successfully graduate on time with my achievement targets within my palms and get a nice job.

Ah, people, let's also pray for the anticipated forthcoming crisis.
Personally, I specifically hope for Malaysian as I'll be struggling in that particular economy soon enough. Else, for our country. Let's hope for the best.

Mmm... I guess that's all for now. :)
Any addition(s) will be listed in the forthcoming posts. Hehehe. Good luck for the new year, pals! :)

妹

2008-12-17T23:07:00.004+08:00

Gw mau sedikit cerita tentang beberapa aib ade gw.

dia: *muka bangga dan mata berbinar-binar* "Kak, kemaren aku ikutan tanding olah raga yang se-klasis Jakarta Selatan itu dong..."
gw: "Oya? Ikut cabang apa aja, Kez?" (oke, di sini uda obvious banget ade gw yg mana yg lagi kita pergunjingkan di sini)
dia: "Semua dong, Kaaakk...."
gw: *mikir, ooh, paling kurang orang kaya biasa...* "Trus gimana, Kez?"
dia: "Kalah semuanya. Buakakakakakkakakk...."
gw: "Buakakakakakak...."
dia: "Kamu mestinya liat aku pas tanding ping pong, Kak."
gw: "Kenapa gitu? Emang kamu bisa apa maen ping pong?"
dia: "ENGGA! Hahahaha, aku dibabat abis, 2-15 sama 3-20. Wakakakakaka."
gw: *mulai ngakak beneran* "Gyakakakakaka, kok bisa gitu?? Malu-maluin aja kamu."
dia: "Ehh, tapi aku sempet menang tauuu, sekaliiii...."
gw: "Wah, hebat atuh. Berapa skornya?"
dia: "Menang WO...."
gw: *ngakak ga terbendung*

sementara barusan gw bantuin dia ngelukis organ telinga di styrofoam.
gw: "Kez, ini dikumpul kapan?"
dia: "Mestinya masih lamaa... Tapi besok ada pengawas akreditasi dateng ke sekolah. Trus tadi gurunya memohon-mohon supaya ada satu kelompok yang ngumpul tugasnya besok..."
gw: "Trus kamu sok asik sok asoi gitu, self volunteer buat ngumpulin besok?"
dia: "Engga... (ada jeda selama 5-10 detik) ...Kalah suit."
gw: "Buakakakakak...kovlookk..."

Bitten by a Snake

2008-12-16T00:11:00.003+08:00

Okay, I have two parts to share in this post. Let me start with the un-gloomy one.

Da Peci Code. (picture is the courtesy to fanaticanz@wordpress) Uhm. Welp, I have not much to say about this. I wasn't trying to review the book or give any literature commentaires on this creation of Ben Sohib. It just happen that I actually bought this book, by uncouncious pressure from something within me, that was persistently urged me to buy this book since ages ago. It was the AFRO! Yes, I believe it was the afro that stunned me right on my joke sensor and pressed the button.

I read the first chapters of Da Peci Code. I had this weird feeling as I learn the characters of the book. Especially the nature of Rosid bin Mansur bin Salim al-Gibran. Then I realised something. He is a mix of betawi and arabic, and he has unnecessarily HUGE afro. It totally rang the bell of someone I know in college. Yes, he IS the dude you might know of his nickname, Prince K (to the A to the H to the F and everybody say I out loud!) or simply PETRUK. Hahahaha. I guess, putting aside some reviews saying that this book is not hilarious enough, it will keep me entertained for something else. As people say, read between the lines. Hahahahahahahaa....

Ok, let's get to the gloomy part. I got carried away in my parents conversation in our way back home from a shopping centre. As an intro, my father is involved in corn business. Planting, harvesting, distributing, supplying, exporting, all of these stuff. Today, one of his field worker was bitten by a poisonous snake. They say they have him for the healer since the cannot afford the doctor and he was quite well at that time. However, later on, he coughed blood and whatnot, and now his wound is as hard as bone. Worst scenario, he will leave his wife and only child.

I questioned my father about the safety regulations and insurance but since he was not a contractual employee, he does not receive such benefit. His treatment now will be covered from my father and his colleagues' medical benefit. The doctor claimed that it was too late to give full recovery at the time but we can expect more if he can get through this critical moments.

Lately I found myself of taking too much things for granted. This kind of situation brings me back to reality. It is a good thing that I receive a lot of blessings but it is important to share with others as well. Shoot, I really feel bad about this guy. I don't know why but it seems that he is under my father's responsibility and because he carried out my father's order, he (and his family) has to go through all of these. Is this what it's like to give orders? To be responsible? Now I know why my mind always keeping me away of this kind of position. I am too afraid to lead. However, it feels nice to push my sisters around. Hahahahha. To some sort of extent, though. Uhm.

In a nutshell, I think I shall add this guy in my night prayer list item tonight.

Ah, last thing, I am not going to Jayapura this holiday. :)

To lead or to choose who to lead

2008-12-06T00:03:00.006+08:00

Again, I must say, it's been a while since the last time I updated this blog. To be straightforward, I am in the middle of exams, enough said. However, since yesterday i was suffering from sore throat and other varieties of flu syndrome and I decided to take a break from my study schedule to provide some time for my body to recover as well as enjoying some of my completed yet untouched downloads. Tonight, I watched The Chronicles of NARNIA: Prince Caspian.

I ended up with tears running down my cheeks. My watching companion would never understand why I cried. He only thought that it was because of my all time favorite magical creatures were under massacre. But it was not only about that.

To watch people who are believed to be the true and forever leaders lead in such way really hurts me. I can't believe they dare to take such immature decision and sacrifice a bunch of loyal souls over childish considerations. I mean, grow up, babies! You exist for they believe in you. Is this what you got from trusting kids to lead? Others can do nothing because it's what the prophets talked about. They are not supposed to disappoint their believers but what happened instead? Innocents were killed.

On the other side of the story, it also tears my heart to see people who was under wrong leadership. Oh yes, they do NOT have the option to choose. I seriously cannot take this. Good thing that the movie has a happy ending else I will curse the director/ script writer/ the actors who played as characters I hated/ CS Lewis himself. I realize that this is a scoop of reality. That injustice is current life's close relative. It sticks like a leech, sucks the blood as it could and only leave when it's full. Would not take your painful groan, oh, no, it would not.

Now who am I to judge and who am I to change the world.

Yet I am a believer that I know my leader will come in time for my rescue. :)

Meet the WedeW!

2008-11-23T15:20:00.006+08:00

as Gerdy wish...
here goes the desktop newcomer :)

Ton ami, P

2008-11-22T00:57:00.004+08:00

Again, a short story from my French class. There was this guy, P, who kept on sending mysterious letters to his friend. This story has a few episodes, spread along the chapters of the book. Every letter P sent ended with a phrase, "Ton Ami, P".

My friend and I always laugh at this part. Well, I mean, WHO THE HELL IS THIS P? In addition to that, sometimes the letter contains very unnecessary thing(s).

Dear Jean, (for example, since I cannot remember the friend's name)
Tu toujours jouer, n'est-ce pas?

Ton ami,
P

(Dear Jean, you always play, don't you?
Your friend, P)

And these letters infuriated Jean. (Always play? I NEVER play!! Who is this P??--again, we laughed for the extreme reaction) But after a few chapter, P called Jean, introducing himself as an old friend named Pierre.

As for me, I believe P did that because he knows Jean. When Jean discovered the person doing those mysterious letters, he let himself enjoy the confusion he suffered from beforehand. Although Jean has changed from the guy in P's mind, he still accepts P as an old friend, and not to mention, they miss each other.

After I left my high school and follow my designated path to college, I've waved goodbyes to a lot of friends. These friends who are later to be called old friends. I mean, sometimes people take a glance to the TV and suddenly shouted, "Hey, that's my high school fella!". The term of high school friend seems like people forgotten yet to be remembered only when they are shown on TV, or dead, whichever comes first.

I observe that people change from time to time. A friend we know in the past will change inevitably. And when the change is not preferable, the other friends are sharing the same burden. That is what friends are for. No, I'm not talking about messing with other people's problem, but they feel something when they know that their friend is into the wrong direction. This something is usually kept inside their heart and unacceptable by others. Please note that they only wish for the best for you.

What kind of true friends you are expecting? What is the use of a friend when you ignore their love and care?

They are worried with you, they feel sad with you, they feel the pain when you hurt others, they feel uneasy when they know that people dislike you. Don't you know? It hurts more when you know that your friend is struggling to get over something compared to you yourself to be involved in the identical situation. Again, it is all because they care for you. You are their friend and the fact shall never change unless you set up the restriction.

Therefore, instead of acting like an adult, why don't you admit your meekness and mistakes? Your friends are still there for you. No matter how you change, no matter how this world has evolved to, no matter what happened, true friends will be there by your side. Still eager to lend a hand for you to grab when you fall, a shoulder to cry on when you shed a tear, and a smile to brighten up your days. Why don't you try to reach them? :)

Another Struck of Melancholy

2008-11-20T23:55:00.001+08:00

Corrinne May - Fly Away

When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

To Finally End the Semester

2008-11-16T22:36:00.014+08:00

Girl A: "Can you please help me to choose between these two colors?"
Girl B: "Choose what?? They're totally the same!"
Girl A: "Now you see my dilemma...!!"

** Bogor **
12 Desember 2008 - 6 Januari 2009

お喋りなバカ

2008-11-10T19:25:00.005+08:00

Hmmm... lagi males meres jidat untuk bikin postingan pake eigo. だから, nasionalis aja ah :)

Belakangan ini gw cukup sering nonton dorama. Numpang nonton Yasuko と Kenji dari Raka, lalu sekarang nostalgia (gw sering banget deh nengok ke belakang) nonton Lunch Queen. Untuk Yasuko と Kenji sih ga ada masalah. Plotnya mirip² Gokusen gitu, tipikal filem preman bermoral.

Dulu gw nonton Lunch Queen pas baru tamat SMA lalu libur puanjang sambil nunggu kelulusan dan penerimaan perguruan tinggi. Ceritanya nurut gw agak sedih. Penyajian sedih yang berbeda dengan Yasuko と Kenji. Kalo Lunch Queen sedihnya karena imajinasi gw sendiri. Ga tau kenapa, gw nonton itu kok rasanya nuansanya pediiih banget. Ok, enough dengan kesedihan aneh yg gw rasakan.

Pengaruh bete, gw dengerin Ellegarden untuk memompa semangat kembali. Ga banyak musik berisik yang bisa gw nikmati, tapi untuk Ellegarden, gw cukup berani untuk nyetel volume rada kenceng. Belakangan ini gw lagi suka sama Salamander :)

there ain't no fear
there ain't no hope
there ain't no right
there ain't no wrong
just make it loud
just make it loud
just make it loud
and feel no touch

there ain't no past
there ain't no fate
there ain't no thoughts
there ain't no rules
spoken words
broken hearts
instant dreams

just let it slide, wasting time
just keep it going and going
just let it slide, wasting life
just keep it rolling and rolling
just make it loud in your room
just make it loud, no one cares
just let it slide

there ain't no pain
there ain't no help
there ain't no doubt
there ain't no name
just make it fun
just make it fun
just make it fun
carry on

there ain't no hate
there ain't no grace
there ain't no harm
there ain't no truth
empty bowls
springer falls
lost and found

just let it slide, wasting time
just keep it going and going
just let it slide, wasting life
just keep it rolling and rolling
just make it loud in your room
just make it loud, no one cares
just let it slide

now i hear it snows
this year is getting colder
how i feel inside
losing my concentration
now i need more time, somehow i'll make through
i just need more time

just let it slide, wasting time
just keep it going and going
just let it slide, wasting life
just keep it rolling and rolling
just make it loud in your room
just make it loud, no one cares
just let it slide, yeah

Wuaahhh!!! x)

Aftermath

2008-10-30T21:04:00.000+08:00

Now the fights are over. I managed to conquer the imaginary foe within this self and found a life filled by empty holes, waiting for extreme joy to shuffle. :)

"Have you seen so many smiles in your eyes?
I can tell by looking by your smiles on your face
Have you seen so many happiness in your eyes?
I can tell by the way you look at me with your lovely eyes

Can I hold you and feel you in my arms?
Only for just a little while
Cos I can't hold a tear, find myself anymore..."
A bit of Dorlis - Just A Little

I will be patient, to let the time slips unnoticed, for this feeling to effloresce.

LAW

2008-10-27T19:48:00.000+08:00

Allson and Dellson Ltd ('the company') operated a delivery and removal service. It had paid up share capital of $100 of which Potter owned 99 in his own name, with the other share being held on trust for him. The operations of the company were financed by a bank overdraft with the Middle Rock Bank. In 2007, when the overdraft stood at $50,000 the bank demanded security and the company executed a floating charge over all of its undertaking to secure the amount outstanding and 'any subsequent amounts' loaned by the bank to the company. This charge contained a clause prohibiting the creation of any subsequent charges having priority over it or ranking pari passu with it. It also contained a clause to the effect that it would crytsallise automatically if any enforcement or forfeiture proceedings were taken against the company. This charge was executed on 1 may 2007 and registered on 15 May 2007.

Between May and December the company continue trading, having a turnover of $100,000. It then got into difficulties and when it was unable to pay a lorry repair bill, the garage that carried out the repair, Mobile Motors, asserted a lien over the lorry. A week later, on 1 March 2008, Benjamin, an employee who was owned $5,000 in salary arrears presented a petition for the winding up of the company, but they failed and on 28 May 2008, a winding up order was granted. The assets amount to about $10,000.

Discuss the order priority in which the claims by Middle Rock Bank (the overdraft on liquidation was $120,000)., Mobile Motors and Benjamin are to be met.

...........................

There is a stone in my heart...

2008-10-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

"Hallelujah
Hallelujah

She cries to the heaven above
There is a stone in my heart
She lives in a world she didn't choose
And it hurts like brand-new shoes"

(Angelique Kidjo ft. Josh Groban and Carlos Santana - Pearls)

These things... regression, disappointment, again haunt my restless mind. I know I can bear with it but this weird emptiness within me persists.

You keep me questioning if I ever exist in the book while I am trying to keep up with the pages I am writing.

Honestly, I don't have time to get worried over such thing. I got my world on my fingertips and letting it go means small chaos(es). But I cannot stop taking those stupid, harmless, little carelessness into my accounts and they annoy me eventually. Bringing me a huge portion of tiny breakdowns.

"WHY?"

I really need to let go. :(

Tagged

2008-10-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

Tan is JAck :
means you and the person who tagged you

1. What is the relationship of you and him?
er...as an assistant to a superior?

2. Your five impressions towards him.
- Dependable
- Heavy
- FUN! :)
- Unexpected
- Charming (should I add occasionally? Naah, to make you happy, Jack)

3. The most memorable thing he had done for you.
... when he called me gilamandahuga and told me that he tagged me...

4. The most memorable thing he had said to you.
Gilamandahuga!! -_-"

5. If he become your lover, you will...
....need a lot of help. I think BOTH of us will do.

6. If he become your enemy, you will...
Stay away from him, especially during exam weeks.
7. If he become your lover, he has to improve on...
....again, BOTH of us will have to undergone a full transformation. The way we talk, the topic we talk about, the way he grins, and things I would say to him. Hahahaha.

8. If he become your enemy, the reason is...
Hmmm... it should be something terrible. I cannot imagine of anything at the moment. Assignment problem would be a lame one but... yeah, shit happens.

9. The most desirable thing to do on him is?
Make him come to Chin SF for a special tuition of a very long period :p

10. The overall impression of him is?
.......what the hell are you doing, JACK?? Ass -_-"

11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
... as in (nothing)

12. The character of you for yourself is?
Incomprehensible.

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
The lack of openness... it's emotional actually -_-"

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is?
hmmmm no idea. Seriously. Never thought of following a particular model.

Part Two.
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state the rules clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

4. No tags back!

- - - - -

1. A lot of my girl friends add me to their phone book or friend list because I'm a close friend to the guys who try to approach them.

2. I don't smoke, I don't take drugs, I don't club. Is it weird?

3. I can be very annoying and hateful.

4. I can be very generous yet totally ungenerous on stupid things. Example is when I can spend a load on a cup of Starbucks before I feel so burdened to pay a 1/12 amount for the public transportation fare.

5. I am a two-faced monkey.

6. I cannot sit on the floor for a long time.

7. I cannot do sport.

8. I am trying to learn English.

9. I HATE crowd.

10. I can stand mess.

11. I am FAT. (cannot agree more with you, Jack)

12. I can be extremely hungry today then need no more than water on the next day.

13. I feel like I want to pee when I watch Prison Break. I have to pause the movie for several times before I finish one episode.

14. I can and love to make faces. Hahahahahhahahahaa.

15. I become furious when I eat hot and spicy food.

Tag :
ha? I only got 6 people on my blogroll...
Here goes
1. Zee
2. Ayyi
3. Gianayu
4. Helda
5. Gerdy!!

else?

Fressia

2008-10-16T11:26:00.000+08:00

Pagi ini gw mencari lirik lagunya Beck (Mongolian Squad) yang berjudul Genki wo Dashite. Pada layar google, gw juga menemukan link lirik Miyavi - Ashita Genki ni Naare (terima kasih untuk kesamaan string pada dua judul lagu ini). Seinget gw lagu ini enak deh. Coba cari di youtube ahh....

Lalu reminiscence pun menyergap. Gw jadi pengen search Janne da Arc juga deh. Trus pengen cari apa lagi ya... Oiya kita pernah nyanyiin The Trax - Rhapsody, lalu ada Gazette - Cassis. Hm... Waktu itu Fressia maenin lagu apa lagi ya... Lupa. Ayo kita buka folder Kami pun Ingin Bermusik dengan subdirectory Fressia. Waaaahhhh....

Gw ga ngerti kenapa kita seriiiing banget mencoba lagu U+K yang ga pernah diulik ama neko en gw, lalu pitchnya jadi ke mana-mana, trus sepi banget karena yang bener-bener maen cuman tiga orang jadinya. Ada juga Arittake no Ai De yang gagal mulu di tengah-tengah (meski ga seancur U+K sih haha). Trus lagu andelan tentu sajaaa... GLAY - Happiness. Hahahahaaa... Sebenernya ada Strawberry Jam - Kibouhou juga sih. Tapi entah gimana kok ga ada rekamannya yah. Padahal itu lebih andelan lagi daripada GLAY. Hahahaha.

Jadi inget deh kemaren pas kita ngumpul rame-rame. Lagi puasa malah tetep cela-celaan. U+D aka Yudhi udah membesar banget tapi malah ngatain gw yang juga tambah gendut. Ada Archie yang impoten dan loyo terus sama Redi yang cungkring tapi berisik. Neko yang adem ayem sama Magica yang (berhubung ga puasa) ngakak puas melulu bersama Bang Abadan yang, most of the time terkapar di lantai kaya korban perkosaan. Betik? Hmm, dia ga semenonjol dlu, yang kadang-kadang suka tiba-tiba eksis ato ikutan ngerumpi. Hahaha. Tapi tetep aja dia yang paling asik buat dicela. Ups, sori bet. Hahahaha. Poo yang paling menengahi, selalu calm en confident plus kali ini dengan pacarnya, ato should I say future husband ya? Keliatan bahagia. おめでとう！:-)

Wah jadi kangen... Really hope to see you guys soon!! :-)

To bless my life...

2008-10-15T00:51:00.001+08:00

I just had a conversation with a friend. He shared a story of life for fifteen minutes but was able to transform me into a totally different person within that time.

It was about his experience. He cannot complain for he does not know what happens out there. He lacks the experience that he is overjoyed for things that never matter me so much. It became difficult for me to answer his question that touches our differences.

I want to show my place to stand up with my view of the world while I don't want to ruin the smile he built over things he had been through. I know that I am the one who brings out the gap between us. I know it is not my place to judge somebody. Nevertheless, I am not sure what knowledge I could share with who. Sometimes, I find it hard to help...

I know I screwed the whole conversation when I decided to cheer him up with what he got for now. I hope I did not smudge his idea of having a better tomorrow when I blessed him for what he got for now. As for me, I hope to give thanks for what I got for now.

Healthy

2008-10-10T18:53:00.000+08:00

Enough for being cautious for the past few days...

As you read in my previous post, I had fever in Indonesia. The doctor who treated me said that when I had a sluggish feeling after I recovered from the fever, I should have my blood tested. That was exactly what happened a couple of days ago. I had an active day and in the afternoon I suddenly had another fever. Typhoid, dengue, cikungunya, all of these serious diseases haunted my mind as I recall the doctor's message. I asked my friend to take me to the hospital but since it was already late, he could not grant the wish but promised to take me the next day. However, when the sun shines, I felt MUCH better. It appears that it was nothing serious.

I'm done with this weird physical problems. Now I declare that I am as healthy as can be. Why the heck am I supposed to suffer from such illness while due date is coming closer and closer? Now that I am recovered, I can start working on this stupid assignment. Huhuhuh.

Our Song

2008-10-03T15:36:00.002+08:00

Sebuah Cerita

"Saya mencoba mendengar lagu kamu, setelah tertunda sekian lama. Saya mencoba untuk menguji waktu. Lalu saya mendengar suara kamu yang membuat saya tertawa. Saya mendengar dan menikmati melodimu dalam nada-nada yang terlantun. Saya terenyuh karena saya menyadari adanya saya di dalamnya. Saya sadar betul bahwa saya ada dalam lagu itu, dalam memorimu. Tanpa saya sadari, saya menekan tombol stop.

Saya tidak bisa ada lagi di dalam lagumu.
Saya kira saya sudah mampu menghilangkanmu.
Maafkan saya.
Saya sungguh bersyukur untuk lagu kita yang pernah ada.
Terima kasih.
Ijinkan saya menghilang sekali lagi.

untuk dia yang pernah mencicipi sup."

Being Ill

2008-10-03T13:52:00.000+08:00

As stated in my previous post, I fell ill. Hahahaha. I thought it won't be much a problem to be dealt but it appeared that I'm not that tough. Last night my whole body was shaking and my fingertips became blue. Yea, I'm not exaggerating. It just happened like so.

I was taken into the hospital, bla bla bla, and at the end I got a prescription to take. I expect that my fever would be a great story but my body temperature only reached 39.3 C. Thanks the Lord for that.

Now what?

Instead of chilling, my whole body is sweating like a sponge. I think it's the time for me to take a cooling off bath...

Home!

2008-10-02T17:57:00.000+08:00

Last Friday I finally set my feet once again on the land of Indonesia, thank you very much. Ever since, I let my time goes by under the noise of my sisters' and parents' yells, chattering, and every kind of possible noise they could make. However, I feel more relaxed. :) I guess that's what I missed so much from this place called HOME. :)

Ah, and as for you, I shall wish a very HAPPY HOLIDAY and SELAMAT HARI RAYA IDUL FITRI. :)

A special one for Zee. I could not find any contact number for this girl... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :) Have a very blessed one. Hehehehehe.

Okay... As usual, I always fall ill at my first days in Indonesia. I don't know how or why. Last semester break I had this vomiting case and this week I caught a fever and digestion system problem. However, these kind of things will not affect my piled holiday plans! Hahahaha.

Wish me luck, though. :D

Last Minutes...

2008-09-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

I'm going back tomorrow. I got this list of chores to be carried out while other things I have concluded before.

Then the phone rang.

[PROBLEM]

Why it has to rise in the last minutes?

Shoot.

Exposure

2008-09-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

People tend to be a social creature. Extroverts expose their things while introverts keep everything down low. For introverts, it would be more than obvious that they have things that others do not know. Extrovert will be more expressive and, uh, extrovert. Even so, some things shall remain private.

It is for your own good. (:

Ah, I just remembered that Fani is celebrating her birthday today! (:
Have yourself a joyful and blessed birthday... (:

Vous prenez l'ojeg...

2008-09-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

Reading my fellow friend's blog, C'est La Vie, dug up my high school memories. There was this time when I was into learning new languages with my best friend and we decided to take French. The course fee was relatively low at the time. At the end of the day, I stopped the course due to the venue relocation.

I am always excited to learn new things. On the other hand, having a course together with a friend dropped my motivation of being serious. I ended up with roars of laughs in every single class.

When we had a lesson on talking on the phone...
me: "Allo..."
her: *panicked* "er....."
me: "Allo... Allo...? O la la, personne, c'est bizarre!" *put down the imaginary phone*

When we had a lesson on giving direction of going home...
*ponders* "I have to explain that from the carrefour, she has to go straight and do a u-turn at the end, then take the second road to the left and then second to the right, up to the top house"
At the end, I only say, "Vous prenez l'ojeg au Villa Permata, numéro 11..."

It's clear that I really love to take shortcuts. Instead of going through the appropriate way, I'll pick a shortest route comes to mind and avoid every possible risk. Leaving me with nothing. I guess I really have to mend this situation and try to explain directions in a better manner. (:

Night out of the Night

2008-09-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

It's when the dark draws near. A small gland so-called pineal inside our body awakes. It works by secreting this so-called hormone of melatonin. By the time it spreads, it starts the countdown for our brain to be ready to rest.

It's when the dark draws near. We can observe the exposure of small things unnoticeable before.

It's when the dark draws near. Dreams approach and grab our tired little mind, creating sparkling ideas of letting go the reality.

I'm drawing a night out of the night. Things are not that easy to describe. It is life I am dealing with.

"If there's so much I must be, can I still just be me the way I am? Can I trust in my own heart or am I just a part of one big plan?" (We Are One, Lion King 2)

And I keep on walking, as the dark draws near. :)

The Eleventh Hour Principle

2008-09-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

I read this matter in a self-help book titled Being Happy by Andrew Matthews and I just had my own experience on this. A good reminder, though. :)

Here's an illustration of eleventh hour situation. A man heard that there is a very precious diamond on a site. Then he came to the site with heart full of hope for the mentioned diamond. He was so excited at the beginning, examining every rock scattered on the site precisely one by one. After a very long time of searching, he became so exhausted and lost the passion for the diamond. At the end of the story, he gave up. For the fact is, if he ever check the next rock before he decided to leave, he would have found the diamond. He gave up at the eleventh hour.

A girl waited for the phone to ring. She desperately waited beside the phone. While waiting might be number one for most hated human activity, she helplessly decided to do so. After a long time, she gave up and left to do other activity. And guess what? Just when she left, the phone rang.

The eleventh hour is actually the most crucial time of our progress time to achieve something. It's between our limit of exhaust and the finals of our findings. We'll never know if we're in which hour when we're about to give up. The author recommends us not to extremely focus on the matter we're pursuing. People tend to see the black dot in the center of a white paper instead of the white side which actually covers more than 99% of the area. Life goes on with or without us anyway. At the end, it's more important to keep ourselves alive and happy. :)

Life...

2008-07-23T11:22:00.000+08:00

"Someone once told me that grasses are always greener on the other side."
(As Told by Ginger Theme Song)

"Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give"
(Elton John, Circle of Life)

"A spoonful of sugar that is all it takes
It changes bread and water into tea and cakes"
(Dick Van Dyke, Spoonful of Sugar)

Pindahan, pindahan, pindahan....

2008-04-23T11:17:00.000+08:00

Hiya, people...

I got back my mood to write!

Ga yakin apa ini kabar baik ato kabar buruk.

Oya, previously gw mencatat segala keluh kesah, gundah gulana gw di blogdrive. Sekarang ini karena gw ingin memulai sesuatu yang baru, maka gw memilih hostingan blog yang baru juga. Kayanya fresh aja gitu klo mulai dari awal lagi.

Pertanyaannya adalah...

Kenapa gue mulai niat nulis lagi? Padahal sebenernya gue sangat ga suka nulis.

Karena gw mulai ngerasa curhat itu penting lagi. Gw ingin bikin catetan yang gw bisa baca-baca di masa depan. Kemaren gue baca-baca curhatan-curhatan gue di masa lampau dan gw seneng! Hehehe. Gw bisa menikmati betapa gue udah berubah dari jaman SMP, SMA kelas 1, SMA kelas 2, sampe SMA kelas 3, bahkan sampe awal2 masuk kuliah. I guess I'll spend some time to write from now on.

Buat yang ujian hari ini, semangat teruss!!

First Post

2007-11-02T18:54:00.000+08:00

Hulaaa...this is my first post!

Freckles™

If I Don't Have to Care About Money

Sanguinist

Baby Mine, Baby Mine

I should've, I could've, I would've

Luck

The Bigger Picture

Baby Hueys

Best of Both Worlds

Update! *finally*

Two way monologue

Unbalanced

Pécheresse (pinjem dulu ya, Helda :p)

What a Productive Day!

Another Beggar Resolution

Toxificated

Jealousy

Management Accounting

Corporate Financial Reporting

Boys

女の事男の事 (Things about Girls, Things about Boys)

Patience

Priorities

Busy as a Bee

Black Panther

In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part

Another weird thing...

Autism

Weird

It doesn't feel like an end

In the End (Pictorial Post)

Kuli Tinta

Tagged, again

I Found Something Sweet ♥

The Melody of Love

Happy-Go-Lucky

In Love

OMS?

Breakdowns

Curhat colongan

強くになりたい

Iris

Curhat colongan

Telaaaatt....

New Year

妹

Bitten by a Snake

To lead or to choose who to lead

Meet the WedeW!

Ton ami, P

Another Struck of Melancholy

To Finally End the Semester

お喋りなバカ

Aftermath

LAW

There is a stone in my heart...

Tagged

Fressia

To bless my life...

Healthy

Our Song

Being Ill

Home!

Last Minutes...

Exposure

Vous prenez l'ojeg...

Night out of the Night

The Eleventh Hour Principle

Life...

Pindahan, pindahan, pindahan....

First Post

Update! finally