Freckles™

I never thought of pursuing a postgraduate degree before. Then, out of the blue, a distant relative told me that Australia is a great place for a career in accounting. The thing is, permanent residency request requires study duration of minimun two years in Australia. Blurred, Pops told me to visit IDP to retrieve more insights on the available courses and so I did. When the counsellor talked about a course in Enterprise Resource Management, I really couldn't think what's better for me than this.

Apparently, a friend of mine was a few steps ahead of me and is currently doing a diploma in a nearby university. After some chat sessions, I really felt that I am supposed to be there. Or at least I really want to be there. The only problem is, Pops said that his budget is only half of the course fee. As for allowance, they might finance me for the first semester but I'll have to be on my own for the rest of the course duration. It's a very huge responsibility to carry but I am confident. I believe I will be well taken care of :)

2. Nikon D5000
In my previous post I told you that I want a camera. However, my preferences shifted as I crave a DSLR instead of a simple point-and-shoot camera. Very long explanation is waiting, mostly is saying that if I got myself a DSLR then I will have to push myself to learn more things as to make the best use of it. To top it off, sensor sizes don't lie.

3. The New Dell Inspiron 14
My sister just got herself a new laptop, thanks to her hardcore (and very rewarding) effort in her study. I envied her but that's all. I was satisfied with my laptop anyway. It was very peaceful until... it gave me a blue screen of death when I was doing my translation. One. Then whenever I plug in my battery, it simply hung on me. Two. And I really don't want to know why, sometimes it simply hangs for no reason. Okay, maybe I'm pushing it to carry a lot of weight but this has never happened before. Maybe it's just time to recycle.

4. iPhone 3Gs
No reason. I just feel like owning this gadget. With everybody worshipping Apple and all. I might get one. I might. Just might.

5. A New Bag
It does not necessarily have to be a coach. However, I've been using the same handbag for my whole internship and I feel like getting a new one.

More to come? You bet!

Labels: curhat

Taken from Unee's blog.

I've always wanted to own a digital camera. Analog can wait. We've witnessed the proofs that this old school technology never grow old while digital ages by the seconds. You got my reason. So, when I got this internship, I made up my mind that it is time to start a new saving account for my first camera. I repeat. My. First. Camera. Oh God, I got so excited even from just typing it. FYI, this is the first time I announce this publicly: I really really really want a camera.

Anyhow, I got even more excited when I checked my bank account before lunch: my first salary was in. Woo-hoo! With a bonus of 12% of the promised amount. Double, triple woo-hoo! Definitely, both my first and second (of my two months internship xD) salary will 100% be channeled to the camera account. No further discussion.

Now, when I first did my research, this coming-soon Cybershot DSC HX5 caught my eye.

A very sleek, elegant and futuristic typical of cybershot equipped with the newest technology including GPS, CMOS sensor, special feature for low-light environments and beautiful stitch assistant for panoramic shoots. It lacks manual controls though, as I expected from Sony camera. Still, the sample images are jaw-dropping.

Moving along. I was comparing DSC-HX5 with the good ol' Canon Powershot SX200 IS but it was no match to Sony's all new technologies. When I was really convinced about Sony, I read a press release saying that Canon is announcing new models for March 2010. One of them is Powershot SX210 IS. God, help me.

Seeing how this baby shines with its smooth and silky finishing and toy-like shape made me want to hold it tight and never let go. It has super long optical zoom of 14x, 14mp, full manual control and HD movie recording. Not a real hot stuff though, compared to Sony, but the long zoom surely kills. Plus, I don't think I'd actually use GPS as featured by HX5. Nevertheless, when I looked at the sample images, I bought all the promises and turned my back on HX5.

I had never ever considered, even slightly, Panasonic. My parents bought one (I think it was ZS2) and the picture quality was terrible. It was seriously rubbish. I thought it was because they wrongly bought a failed product but when I tried my friend's expensive Lumix... I simply lost faith in this brand. However, I browsed the internet today and found some discussions on SX210 IS rivals and Lumix TZ10/ZS7 came up.

I wasn't paying too much attention until I took a glance at the sample images. It was beyond beautiful. I had my doubts in Canon which I didn't have in Sony as Canon tends to smoothen captured images to reduce noises while Sony took the challenge in attempts to produce sharper outputs. In this case, Sony couldn't help it but let its own IQ to do the trick and emphasises on its auto mode, leaving us human with limited options to make the most of our creativity. Sony does them all. But then, since I'm buying a point and shoot camera as a way of dipping my feet in the world of photography before I gain my confidence to actually explore every corner of it, I guess manual controls were very considerable. So I chose Canon over Sony. But then this stupid Lumix destroyed my plans. It has both the picture sharpness, manual control, reasonable MP and optical zoom as well as high-res LCD. Its price was higher than the previous two but I guess it would be so worth it.

Anyhow, you're all very welcomed to comment and advise me on this matter. Please note that recommendations on not buying cameras and spend my salaries to treat you might just be a waste of energy. :p
Back to work, have a good day, people :)

Labels: Daily Life

These days I've been watching Bones, a crime solving TV Series, and as usual I find myself got emotionally attached to the characters. However, after the third season, they stopped the appearance of my favourite Zack Addy. You know me very well, you'll understand my fondness towards cute, bullyable nerds. :) I was seriously thinking of quitting Bones. However, in exchange, they add a psychologist to the team.

I was supposed to do psychology for my undergraduate study. You ask me why would I take psychology, I had no idea. It just popped into my mind. No reason. At all. Anyway, this is why my dad challenged my decision and directed me to accounting and finance instead. I agreed with him. I saw no reason to why I should be persistent on something that even I cannot explain. Worse, I got accepted into THE (mind the capital THE here) famous psychology faculty when I already committed myself to accounting and finance. Still, no reason to persist, I stayed.

Observing the psychologist's works in Bones, I realised that I would really love to study the theories of psychology. They are soundly logical and rational though subjective and seemed like mere guesses. I might have succeeded if I were to take psychology! Then again, I also thought of doing communications. Now that I'm actually in the field, I do not find it as interesting as it sounded before. And also IT. I was also thinking about taking IT (yet the dream vanished when I figured that my IQ would not give enough support to grant me success in this area).

What should've I fought for? What could've I done? What would've I achieved? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Labels: curhat

Sebelumnya izinkan saya mengucapkan selamat tahun baru kepada Anda sekalian. Saya rasa sih yg baca blog saya secara rutin sebenernya gak ada tapi yah kalo sekiranya ada ya, selamat tahun baru 2010 untuk anda. Best wishes :)

Oke. Liburan kemarin saya terlibat dalam percakapan yang cukup menarik di forum keluarga. Saya merasa, atau setidaknya berusaha untuk selalu bersikap rasional. Everything happens for a reason. Sebisa mungkin saya akan mengeliminasi pengaruh dari elemen-elemen supranatural dalam upaya saya mencerna atau melakukan segala sesuatu.

Hal ini saya terapkan mentah-mentah di kehidupan saya. Saya beranggapan bahwa segala sesuatu yang terjadi itu bisa dijelaskan secara logis. Namun orang tua saya tidak demikian. Saya merasa perlu menjelaskan bahwa orang tua saya cenderung bersikap religius supaya Anda tidak menyelewengkan maksud dari kuasa supranatural kepada aktivitas perdukunan. Bukan yang seperti itu.

Dengan berani ayah saya memberi data statistik imajinatif bahwa manusia hanya bisa berusaha sebaik-baiknya tetapi chance bahwa usahanya akan berhasil tidak akan melebihi 50%. Sisanya ya, tergantung keberuntungan orang tersebut. Jujur saja, saya sangat tidak menyukai konsep keberuntungan.

Sebut saja M. M ini adalah seorang siswa yang prestasi akademisnya biasa-biasa saja. Mediocre, average. Menjelang lulus SMP, M mencoba ikut ujian saringan masuk sebuah SMA ternama di kotanya. Dengan bahan referensi passing grade ujian saringan masuk tahun-tahun terdahulu, M tidak akan diterima karena hasil ujiannya tidak memenuhi syarat. Namun apa yang terjadi? Konon dengan alasan kuota yang tak tercapai, standar hasil ujian yang menjadi syarat penerimaan diturunkan dan M pun diterima! Faktor X di sini sangat-sangat unpredictable tapi dampaknya signifikan. Saya yang sangat mencintai keamanan dan kestabilan merasa terancam akan keberadaan faktor ini. Faktanya, ini benar-benar terjadi.

Memahami dan menerima konsep keberuntungan saja bagi saya sudah sulit. Rupa-rupanya ini masih belum cukup untuk mengguncang kesadaran saya. Ayah saya tiba-tiba curhat bahwa meskipun kita harus mempercayai keberuntungan, garis tangan keluarga kami adalah garis tangan orang yang berusaha. Gambarannya, beberapa orang mungkin memiliki bakat beruntung yang tinggi sehingga meski mereka hanya berusaha sebesar 10-15% pun gauge keberuntungan mereka yang relatif lebih tinggi kapasitasnya akan lebih menjamin keberhasilan mereka. Sedangkan untuk saya, gauge keberuntungan saya mungkin hanya sedikit lebih banyak dari 50% sehingga perjuangan saya harus 10-15% lebih besar dari orang-orang lain pada umumnya untuk mencapai probabiliatas keberhasilan yang sama. Rasanya saya mau pingsan.

"While some people might get the right stuff to get what they want, the others would get the other right stuff to get what they want in a way they would never have imagined."

As cliche as I can be, let's see where this path would lead me to.

Labels: curhat, lesson of life

Dunia semakin panas. Nilai semakin dingin. Kontradiksi yang gak penting tapi pernyataan yang pertama itu serius. Ini tidak berkaitan dengan isu global warming atau kekacauan ekosistem yang makin hari makin marak. Saya mau berbicara mengenai manusia.

Bagi saya, ciptaan Tuhan yang paling mengerikan adalah manusia. Tapi bagaimanapun juga, ngeri itu relatif, bukan? Secara pribadi, saya berpendapat demikian. Saya tidak pandai mengutip filosofi tapi membicarakan ini saya teringat pada perkataan klasik, "With great power comes great responsibilities." Manusia diberikan akal budi oleh pencipta. Sesuatu yang secara khusus dianugerahkan, tidak kepada apapun selain manusia. Mungkin memang Adam tidak sepatutnya memakan buah pengetahuan itu.

Manusia memiliki sifat adaptatif. Mereka seperti memiliki rasa haus yang tak kunjung terpuaskan. Selalu ingin lebih: dari orang lain terutama. Kain dan Habel atau Cain and Able kalau mau berlaga internasional. Sebuah cerita yang populer tentang kebohongan pertama manusia, juga aksi kriminal pertama yang dilakukan untuk mengatasi orang lain. Mengeliminasi sesama dan berdusta adalah kejahatan yang sudah dikenal sejak zaman manusia pertama yang tercatat dalam sejarah.

Lalu manusia pun mengembangkan zaman. Kompleksitas merayapi setiap aspek kehidupan. Semuanya dibuat begitu rumit. Dikatakanlah ini adalah untuk kebaikan kita semua. Maka lahirlah agama, politik, ekonomi, dan ide-ide brilian lainnya. Mereka yang tidak setuju boleh menciptakan ilmu-ilmu lain yang bertentangan dengan yang lainnya. Bagaimanapun juga, semua ciptaan itu adalah untuk memuaskan hati manusia akan hal-hal yang tak terjawab.

Mereka yang mampu, menciptakan sistem. Mereka yang malas, menuruti sistem. Mereka yang independen, menentang sistem. Mereka yang menutup mata, tidak melihat sistem. Saya secara pribadi merasa ketakutan.

Saya takut terhadap napsu manusia yang semakin tak terkendali. Tuhan tidak lagi menegur Kain, bertanya, "Di manakah adikmu?" Kain sudah semakin cerdas. Otaknya dipenuhi dengan konspirasi dan taktik untuk memenggal kepala para bidak dan men-skak mat lawannya. Pahit mengingat ini, membuat saya malas untuk berharap. Tidak perlu melihat gambar besar. Hiduplah sebagaimana adanya, sebagai pelajar, sebagai anak, sebagai orang tua, sebagai pegawai. Tidak perlu ikut campur dalam sistem, apapun itu. Karena inilah saya tidak keberatan lagi bila TheMarksMan berkoar ingin jadi presiden.

Terkadang saya merasa prihatin melihat mereka yang naif. Berpikir bahwa dengan berjuang, semuanya bisa dilakukan. Saya merasa benar karena hanya berjuang dalam sistem. Mengikuti kaidah-kaidah yang sudah ditetapkan orang, enggan untuk mencari jalan lain. Saya yang tidak suka akan perasaan tidak aman, si pengecut.

Sampai saya menemukan pernyataan ini di halaman facebook seorang relasi (nama tidak disamarkan),

Aju Ade: Ketika politik menyumbat ruang publik dengan kebohongan, adakah kesempatan untuk nurani berbicara? Sepenuh keyakinan kukatakan "ya". Dan bersama kita bisa.

I'd admit that this might not the best picture we had together. There are tons of pictures of me and these two little girls with tons of expressions you would not normally thought of. But if I have to compare this picture with all those extraordinaries, you would agree with me and pick this one among all.

It's a picture of me and my sisters. People who had seen me with them would say that there are three Mandas in our family. That is how they describe our physical similarity. Non-physicals?

To be honest, I was not aware of these unseen characters we shared together. When we were children, I would chase them around crying and get spanked in the end by my mother or other corporal punishments for "torturing" these actually-not-so-innocent creatures. I remember that I coloured the house with desperate shouts and cries of my sisters nearly every day. Even after they got into teenagers, I could still find their point of weakness and torture them to cry for it. I still see them as the little babies who'd never grow up.

Sometimes I envy my friends who could get along very fine with their siblings. So fine that they do not mind to sincerely express their love towards each other and actually miss them when one is leaving the others. Me and my sisters are very proud individuals. We would never say that we love or miss one another out loud as much as we might want to.

However, it was very clear during this year, I found myself getting more and even more attached to them. Kezia is now in her first year of senior high school and Muti is in her second grade of junior high. Neither of them is exactly a baby. I can feel it from the changes in the way we communicate, their taste in music, how much they got involved in recent trends and their shifting priorities and point of views. I can barely remember now why would I tortured them in the past while we can get along so easily at this moment.

We share the same interest: comic books, internet, computer games, jokes, and some of the music influences, mostly my childish demands. Even when our interests contradict, we would work our ways and eventually come to an agreement at some point. This is when I realize that my babies had grown. I used to ask Muti if she feels uncomfortable being "spoiled" and treated as a brat. She does not mind. It gave me even more reason to not see them as growing teenagers.

However, I checked their facebook for quite some time and... well, to put it short, it inspired me to see them as they are now. To see them in the way the world see them. They are no longer those brats who cry when I took their dolls or stupid kid with whom I had to argue to get to read our kids magazine first. They already got their ability to reason and sometimes it simply fascinates me to see how fast they have developed their mind. Maybe I have gotten too soft myself but I'd rather let this feeling to last :)

Labels: curhat, family